


Break Up 2 Make Up

by Racey



Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:00:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22226776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Racey/pseuds/Racey
Summary: I believe the title says it all this time.
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another oldie...

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_'Cause when the tears start flowin'_

_And the wind starts blowin'_

_That's how you know (That's how you know it's comin' for you)_

_When the rain start fallin'_

_And you feel the pain comin'_

_That's how you know (That's how you know it's comin' for you)_

_Like a hurricane_

_Like a hurricane_

_The way you break everything that comes in your way_

_Just like a hurricane_

_Just like a hurricane_

_The way you broke my heart and now I'm left with the pain_

_After the hurricane_

_Now my life is shattered and I'm left to pick up the pieces_

_And find a new beginning and put it back together again_

_After the hurricane, the hurricane_

_-Jazmine Sullivan-_

XOXOXO

Ichigo lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind a jumbled whirl of mixed emotions. I _t was three o'clock in the fucking morning and his boyfriend still hadn't brought his ass home. This had been occurring far too often in their relationship and he was sick of it_.

When he'd first started seeing the tall, sculpted, blue-haired man, everything had been fine. _Hell, even a year into things and it wasn't nearly as bad as it was now_. Of course, there had been arguing and disagreeing, but that was normal. _Shit, it even led to some very hot make-up sex, but these past few months..._

Ichigo didn't know what to do. It seemed like his lover had transformed into an entirely different person and no matter what he said or did, nothing could reach the man. Ever since the man had been laid off from his job, things had taken a turn for the worse. It wasn't like Ichigo was pestering the man to get a job either because he knew with his boyfriend's background, it was already tough enough to find a job to begin with. So, he never hounded him about it.

Ichigo assumed it was the blue-haired man's pride eating at him that was making him act the way he'd been acting recently. The guy stayed out all hours of the night, didn't help with household chores and picked fights for simple shit. Ichigo loved him, but he was starting to feel like the more time passed, the more his love was turning into hate. Half the time his boyfriend was either drunk or high and it pissed him off. The blunet's friends didn't help things either, always supplying him with the alcohol and encouraging his destructive behavior.

_He missed the man he had fallen in love with._

_The man that had always been brash, but affectionate and caring in his own way, making everything he did mean that much more. The man that had googled how to bake a cake, just to make one for Ichigo's birthday last year. The man that had a crude sense of humor and no filtering system, but managed to watch his words and tone around him._

Ichigo sighed and rubbed his eyes, only just realizing the tears falling from his eyes. He turned his head, absently noticing the soaked material pressing against his cheek as he glanced at the clock on the night stand. A loud trilling made him jump and fumble almost desperately for his cell phone that was also on the night stand, hoping against hope that it was his boyfriend calling to at least let him know that he was alright.

He grabbed the device and grimaced as his shoulders sagged in disappointment upon taking in the name on the readout. Pressing a button to connect the call, he lifted the small rectangle to his right ear and covered his eyes with his left arm as he fell back against his wet pillow, "Yeah," he mumbled.

"...er...Ichigo?" the caller asked hesitantly.

Ichigo sighed and fought the urge to hang up, "You do know it's almost four in the fucking morning, right?" he growled.

"Well...it's uh, it's kinda important."

"Then spit it out!" he snapped irritably. _He didn't mean to take his frustrations out on the man, but he was worried and pissed off_.

"I just saw Grimmjow..." There was a pause and Ichigo registered the faint sound of thumping bass as if the caller was standing outside of a club.

His heart stilled and his tongue was suddenly sticking to the roof of his mouth. He was almost afraid to ask the next question, but knew he wouldn't be able to rest unless he did. "Where?" His voice had come out thick as peanut butter.

Silence, but Ichigo could still hear the music in the background, so he knew the connection hadn't been severed.

"Keigo..." he stated, voice much calmer than he felt at the moment.

A deep sigh before, "At Gotei 13. He was with those guys again, but..." Keigo's voice trailed off and Ichigo could imagine the brown-haired man shifting nervously.

"Keigo," he growled deeply as he sat up and perched on the side of the bed. The hardwood floor was cold under his feet, meaning he'd left the AC on too long.

"He had some guy hanging all on him, kissing him and stuff," Keigo blurted and Ichigo felt the blood drain from his face as his stomach plummeted to his feet.

"Hn," was all he said because he was simultaneously trying to fight the urge to tear up and vomit.

"I-Ichigo, I'm sorry, man," Keigo said softly.

"Yeah, uh, look, I gotta go," he said and hung up before Keigo could respond.

He sat on the side of the bed staring at nothing in particular as his worst fears had been confirmed. Ichigo wasn't really for the "word of mouth" thing, but one thing about his friend was the fact that Keigo had never been a liar. _Besides, why would he go through the trouble of calling him at damn near four in the morning just to spin a tale?_

_So...Grimmjow had been..._

Ichigo clutched his stomach as it heaved drastically. _Why wouldn't Grimmjow just break up with him instead of...instead of fucking someone else?_ It was humiliating and more painful than anything he'd ever experienced in his life. _Grimmjow obviously didn't love him anymore. He didn't care. Maybe he never had. Maybe their whole relationship had been a farce. A lie. A joke._

Anger burned in his chest and anguish formed a lump in his throat as he surged from the bed and stormed to the closet. He fumbled around in the back before finally finding what he was searching for: his large, black duffel bag. He wouldn't need much, but he knew for certain he wasn't staying there anymore. He would go back home and hope like hell that his old man didn't ask him any questions.

Ichigo angrily stuffed some clothes into the bag but mostly gathered important papers and personal items. Once he was satisfied that he had everything he intended to bring with him, he dressed in a pair of Grimmjow's sweats and one of his t-shirts. _Both were too big, but he didn't care_. He didn't feel like rooting through the bag he'd just packed and he was sure Grimmjow wouldn't miss them.

He slung the bag over his shoulder, letting the strap rest across his chest and headed for the front door. He was walking through the dark living room, when the lock turned and the door swung open, a drunken Grimmjow stumbling through. Ichigo narrowed his eyes as his lips formed a thin line. His hands came up to grip the strap of his bag as he glared at his...ex.

Grimmjow slammed the door shut and finally registered Ichigo standing there before him, "The fuck're ya doin' in the dark?" he slurred, squinting his ocean-blue eyes at him.

Ichigo averted his gaze and ignored the question, hoping Grimmjow would just let him be like he always did on nights like this. _Unfortunately, Grimmjow had other plans_. He ran a large, tanned hand through his disheveled mop of bright blue hair, the stubborn strands in front springing back to cover his brow once more. Grimmjow cocked his head to the side and blinked in an exaggerated manner, "Didja hear me?"

The longer he stood in the man's presence, the angrier he got. He could feel his emotions threatening to bubble up right through his mouth any minute now. _He wanted to scream and curse, kick and punch, but what would that solve? Nothing, that's what_. So, he continued to ignore the man.

"Huhn, ya gonna gimme the silent...silent treatment now?" Grimmjow taunted, his top lip curling as he swayed in place.

Ichigo sighed and moved towards the door. _Grimmjow was pathetic. He wondered what he'd ever seen in the man to begin with_. Ichigo wrapped a hand around the knob, but a hand on his chest stopped him in his tracks. He slowly raised his head to look his...ex...in the face, wondering if the man was about to cross the line, when his heart stopped at the expression he observed. For a brief moment, Grimmjow resembled the man Ichigo had given his heart to.

Intense, sapphire orbs gazed down at him, blue brows drawn together.

 _Then it was gone_.

"Che, I need a shower," the man mumbled and began stumbling away.

Ichigo couldn't tamp down his emotions any longer, "Who were you with, Grimmjow?" he asked, trying to mask the pain and anger that was consuming him at a frightening pace.

Grimmjow paused and glanced over his broad shoulder with narrowed blue eyes, "When did that become _yer_ bizniss?" he growled.

Ichigo was stunned. He hadn't been expecting that response and frankly, it knocked the breath clean from his lungs as he stared back at the man he still unwillingly loved. After what felt like an eternity, he found his voice, "What _the fuck_ does _that_ mean?" he snapped, beside himself.

Grimmjow whirled on his heel to face him, losing his balance slightly before regaining it and glaring back at him, "It means jus' what the fuck I said. Why the hell ya care anyway? You ain't fuckin' me!"

Ichigo pursed his lips as tears filled his eyes. _Grimmjow was right. After the man had been staying out all hours of the night, he'd been suspicious and refused to have sex with him, in case Grimmjow was sleeping with someone else. Had he pushed his boyfriend away?_

_No._

_He'd lost Grimmjow way before they'd stopped having sex; the man was just using it as an excuse._

"Fuck you," he whispered and turned on his heel, throwing the door open. Before he stormed out, he tugged the apartment key from his keyring and tossed it on the floor, "I won't need that anymore."

He didn't notice the look of helpless despair on Grimmjow's face as he slammed the door shut, closing the book on their relationship.

_I'mma let you fly_

_And pray you come back to me_

_Cuz I do believe_

_If I let you fly_

_And you fly back_

_Then it was meant to be_

_So fly (fly, fly)_

_-J. Holiday-_

XOXOXO

Grimmjow was having a hard time swallowing and unclenching his teeth. He was rooted to the spot, staring at the door that Ichigo had just disappeared behind, hands curled into fists.

_Fuck._

_This was what he wanted. This was for the best._

_So...why the fuck did it hurt so badly?_

Contrary to what he was sure Ichigo believed, he hadn't been cheating or even drinking and getting high the way he'd portrayed. He'd just wanted Ichigo to think that, making it easier for the red head to break things off with him. _He hadn't had the heart to do it himself_.

 _Ichigo didn't deserve someone like him, someone who couldn't even keep a fucking job as a factory worker because of his criminal record_. He'd been charged with a felony at the age of eighteen when his mother put him out. He'd had nowhere to go, no way to take care of himself, so he'd resorted to robbing people. Finally, he'd been caught and sent to jail, but since it had only been his first offense, he was let go after a few months. The record had stuck to him like a barnacle though, making it virtually impossible to get a decent job.

Then, he'd had a rare stroke of luck when his friend, Szayel, had told him about a toothpaste factory that had been hiring. He'd gone to fill out an application and been hired on the spot. After that, things seemed to move in hyper speed. He had gotten a bank account and saved up for an apartment, rather than continue sleeping in Szayel's basement and then his co-worker, Nnoitra, had bullied him into going to a club with him one night, where he'd met Ichigo.

From the instant he'd lain eyes on the shorter, orange-haired man, he'd been inwardly smitten. _He would never admit to that aloud, but it was undeniably true_. Ichigo, with his gooey brown eyes and evil scowl, had taken his heart hostage and Grimmjow had made it his personal business to capture the other man's in return.

It hadn't been as hard as he'd thought, but once he'd had Ichigo, they'd been inseparable. _In love. All that romantic, sappy shit_. He'd taken care of his strawberry, ignoring the man's vehement protests of not needing to be taken care of. He'd liked looking after Ichigo and doing little things that made him smile and laugh.

Ichigo had been the first person to love him for him, regardless of his past. _In spite_ of his past.

Then, things had gone down the toilet. He'd lost his job and even though Ichigo never said anything about it - didn't seem to care really - it bothered Grimmjow. He couldn't stand not being able to take care of the man he loved anymore and not being able to buy things for himself. _He felt pathetic._

_He WAS pathetic._

_Ichigo deserved better._

_Much better._

So, he'd begun pushing Ichigo away. He didn't have the heart to break up with the man, but he knew he didn't want to drag the red head along in his misery. He'd started staying out all the time, pretending to be drunk and high when in reality he would probably have no more than one or two drinks the whole night. He didn't smoke anything other than cigarettes, so he couldn't get high, unless he snorted or injected it and he really wasn't about to take that route.

He'd thought his plans had been working, but still Ichigo stayed, proving him wrong. Then, the red head had stopped wanting sex and even though it had nearly killed him, he'd distanced himself even more from Ichigo. _Yet, still the man stayed_. Grimmjow had been at the end of his ropes, wondering if he'd ever be able to get his lover to break up with him, when he'd spotted Ichigo's little brown-haired friend at Gotei 13 that night. An idea had slammed itself into him with the weight of a mack truck, leading him to flirt with a random dude at the club and the rest had been easy. He hadn't kissed the guy back or anything, but had allowed the short, dark-haired man to kiss him and touch him.

 _He'd been on the verge of gagging the entire time_.

Once he'd been sure Ichigo's friend had spotted him, he'd left, explaining to Nnoitra and Szayel that he was taking the guy he'd just met home. In reality, he'd walked the man (Luppi or something?) to his car and told him to have good night. _He wasn't really interested_. It had earned him a crude remark, but he'd figured he'd deserved that.

 _The rest had been history_.

Grimmjow felt anguish clawing at his gut and chest, fighting its way to his throat until it escaped in the form of a loud howl. He drove his fist through the drywall in the living room, the material crumbling around his fist like coffee cake. It fell to the floor, littering the light blue carpet that Ichigo had picked out when he'd first moved in with him.

His chest heaved and pain stabbed his heart as he retrieved his scraped and already bruising fist from the destroyed wall. He slid to the floor and drew his legs up to his chest, thrusting his hands into his hair and tugging desperately, trying to distract himself from the gnawing ache filling his entire conscious and seemingly penetrating his very soul.

"Fuck," he growled, angry with himself for not being stronger.

 _This was what he wanted_. Ichigo deserved someone better than him. He knew that, but it didn't mean the red head's leaving hadn't torn out a piece of his very core. _He loved Ichigo. More than anything in his worthless fucking life. The strawberry had been the light at the end of his dark tunnel and now he had to let him go because life was kicking him in the ass and thumbing it's nose at him again_.

Grimmjow didn't know how to explain the reason behind his self-induced torture other than to say what he'd already been emphasizing. _Ichigo didn't deserve to be stuck with a bum like him for the rest of his life. He was too...too good for that_. And Grimmjow loved him enough to let him go.

He lifted his head and stared across the room at the opposite wall, anger at the unfairness of his life swallowing him whole. He surged to his feet and kicked over the medium-sized, wooden coffee table, unsatisfied with the minor damage it caused, so he left the living room and ended up kicking a hole into their – his – bedroom door, making the wooden structure hang limply from its hinges.

He poured himself onto their – his – bed and stared up at the ceiling. _He wished the last thing he'd seen of Ichigo hadn't been the look of hurt and betrayal on his beautiful face. He wished he could have kissed him and made everything all better. He could have, but then he would've been continuing to drag Ichigo along through the mud_. Grimmjow turned onto his side and closed his eyes, trying to will away the sting behind his eyes and the ache in his chest.

_He just hoped that Ichigo could forgive him one day._

_Maybe not tomorrow or even the next day, but...one day_.


	2. Can't Get You Outta My System

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_I'm too attached, my heart won't let me fall back_

_I got it bad, that's what you can call that_

_And when I see you in the streets, that's the worse for me_

_Used to love the little things you did, that's what works for me_

_I never had this kind of problem in my life_

_This is my first time dealing with this kind of fight_

_It's every night and every flight_

_And every time you in my sight_

_Damn, this ain't even right_

_-Bow Wow-_

XOXOXO

**Six Months Later**

Ichigo brushed the snow from his black, down-filled coat, pulling the fur-lined hood from his head, as well as the dark-blue, cable knit hat. He stomped his feet on the welcome mat before pushing open the front door to his home and slipping inside. It was freezing outside and the snow had seemingly come out of nowhere, numbing his hands and toes, even though he was wearing thick socks and gloves to ward off the chill. He kicked off his black, Timberland construction boots and slid out of his coat, hanging it on the rack beside the door before heading off towards the kitchen, where the sound of his younger, twin sisters' and idiot old man's voices seemed to be emanating.

Ichigo touched his nose, grimacing when he was unable to distinguish between the cold of his fingers and the cold of the protruding appendage. He tried vigorously rubbing his hands together, wishing the warmth of his home would hurry up and thaw out his frozen limbs and stop his teeth from chattering.

"Yuzu! Papa thinks you should rest while Karin and-"

"Shutup! Stupid goat-face! You know we can't cook, so what would be the point?" Karin interjected with a fierce kick to their old man's shin.

"Ah! Karin-chan!" Yuzu yelped as their father fell to the floor gripping his throbbing leg.

"Masakiiiii!" Isshin shouted, eyes screwed shut in agony, "Our daughter hates me!" he howled.

Ichigo shook his head as he observed the spectacle from the kitchen doorway.

 _All was normal in the Kurosaki household_.

"Oi, Old Man! You're so noisy!" Ichigo snapped as he stepped over his father, who had rolled towards him, still clutching his injured shin.

"ICHIGOOO, MY BELOVED SON!"

Ichigo arched a brow and glanced down at the older, dark-haired male, "You're insane, you know that?" he grumbled.

"AHH! Ichigo, not you too!" Isshin wailed and scooted out of the kitchen on all fours, making his way to the large portrait of his dearly departed wife that hung in the hall. "MASAKIIII!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes, tuning out his old man's loud cries as he turned back to his sisters. Karin had taken a seat at the kitchen table and was reading a sports magazine, the legs to her black pajama pants riding up enough to show her white, slipper socks. She wore a matching long-sleeved, black shirt and her dark, shoulder-length hair was messy, as if she'd just awakened from a nap. Yuzu stood near the stove, the sleeves to her light green hoodie rolled to her elbows as she stirred the contents of a large pot, with a long, wooden spoon. Her black sweats were so long, they covered the tops of her feet and dragged against her heels as she moved from the stove to the sink to wash her hands.

Finally, she turned to face him and smiled warmly, her light-brown hair swaying gently and her brown eyes shining brightly, "Onii-chan, are you hungry?"

Ichigo gave her a small smirk and shook his head, "Nah, I'm-I'm fine."

Yuzu nodded and wiped her hands on a red dish towel before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "How was work?"

Karin glanced up from her magazine and pinned him with her dark gaze as if she just knew something unexpected had occurred. Ichigo didn't know how his little sister managed to intimidate him with just one look, but he had to swallow a few times before smiling through his discomfort, "It was ok. The office was kind of quiet today because of the weather, though," he rambled.

Karin arched a slender, dark brow and quirked her lips, "And?"

He sighed. _He had known this wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done_. He took a deep breath and his right hand automatically went to the back of his neck to rub nervously, "Uh, well, K-Kaien asked me out on a date for tonight. I said yes."

Ichigo tried not to wince at the way Karin's left eyebrow twitched ever so slightly and her eyes hardened into frigid pools of onyx. Yuzu squealed and clapped her hands together, oblivious to her twin's dark mood. _She was only concerned with his happiness, kami bless her heart_.

"Oh, onii-chan! That's wonderful!" Yuzu exclaimed.

Karin snorted and shook her head, returning her eyes to her magazine and essentially dismissing Ichigo. A wave of anger washed over him, but he reined in his temper at the last second, "Karin, he's a nice guy," he grumbled exasperatedly, drawing Yuzu's attention to the surly mood of her sister.

"Whatever," Karin muttered in response, eyes never leaving the magazine.

Ichigo felt his lips form a thin line as he turned on his heel and left the kitchen, vaguely registering Yuzu chiding Karin for being rude. He stomped up the stairs to his room and slammed the door behind himself, angry at his sister for not being more supportive of his decision. He stripped out of his dark slacks, white, long-sleeved dress shirt and dark tie, leaving him in only his socks and gray boxers. He tossed the clothes into his hamper and strode to his closet in search of an outfit for his date, cursing under his breath the entire time.

He was so angry that when he reached to the top shelf of his closet for a pair of dark-blue jeans, he yanked too hard and the whole stack of pants came tumbling down, causing a mini-avalanche of other miscellaneous items to hit the floor with dull thuds. Ichigo grit his teeth and stared down at the mess. Jeans, papers, an old baseball mitt and an old photo album littered the floor, so he bent to scoop the items up and shove them back onto his shelf.

He had just flung the photo album over his head and onto the back of the shelf, when a picture fluttered to the floor and made him suck his teeth in annoyance. _Something just had to fall after he'd stuffed it all away, right?_ Ichigo reached down and grabbed the photo, freezing after he returned to his full height and turned it over in his hand. All he could do was stare down at the smirking face, the wild, bright blue hair and dancing, electric blue eyes seemingly coming out of the photo.

 _Grimmjow_.

Ichigo felt an ominous sting behind his eyes as he glared down at the man that had broken his heart and left him to sweep up the pieces six months ago. He still didn't know exactly where they had gone wrong, but when Grimmjow cheated on him, that had been the last straw. Ichigo had been willing to put up with anything other than that because he'd loved the man. _Sadly, he still did and he had a feeling that he always would. No matter how much he tried to forget about the blue-haired man, it seemed fucking impossible_.

Some nights he would turn over in bed, reaching out for the warm body that he'd grown accustomed to sleeping beside, only to find his bed cold and lonely. His chest constricted and a lump formed in his throat. _Six months had felt like six days in passing, the pain still so raw._ Ichigo had never given himself to another as completely as he had with Grimmjow and if his ex-boyfriend hadn't committed the most cardinal sin in relationships, he would've been back at the man's door, begging to come home.

 _And he didn't fucking beg for anyone_.

When Ichigo felt himself losing the war against his tears, he grit his teeth painfully and screwed his eyes shut. He and Grimmjow were over and had been for six months already. He may miss him, but the man he'd left, had not been the man he'd fallen for, so he would stand by his decision, no matter how much it felt like with each day that passed, a bit of his soul was being torn out by its roots.

 _Love was for the birds. Truly_.

The photo crumpled in his hand as he made a fist and pressed it to his forehead. _Fuck this. He would go out on his date with Kaien and enjoy himself. He would NOT think about Grimmjow_. Feeling optimistic on the outside, but inwardly like the biggest liar on the face of the Earth and probably the moon too, he gripped the picture of his ex by the corners and tore it neatly in half before chucking the pieces into the garbage.

He took a shaky breath and had to force himself from his room and into the bathroom to shower, lest he run back to the small, metal bin and return the picture to its original state. He was angry with himself for not being able to forget about someone that had treated him so badly. _He hadn't deserved treatment like that, especially when he wasn't even the cause of whatever had been plaguing the man_.

Ichigo closed the bathroom door and stripped out of his boxers after turning the shower on. Once he stepped under the hot spray, his muscles tensed because he remembered Grimmjow being big on joining him in the shower, often-time scaring the crap out of him with his quiet movements. He remembered the way the bigger male's hands would run over his body so gently, completely contradicting his rough nature, the way Grimmjow would kiss him as if no one else in the world mattered, the smirk Grimmjow would wear whenever he teased him...

 _Kami, he could still smell the man at times_.

Ichigo grabbed his body wash, poured a generous amount into his palm and began rubbing his hand over his chest, trying anything to distract himself from his destructive thinking.

_Fuck._

_It wasn't working_.

He sagged against the shower wall and shut his eyes, the rapid thumping of his heart pounding in his ears like the bass line to a techno song. _Why was HE the one suffering and not Grimmjow? He was pretty sure the older male was happy with someone else by now and not even thinking of him, so WHY couldn't he forget the asshole? Why was Grimmjow so deeply seated in his heart that any attempt at extraction felt nearly fatal?_

_Why did he still love him so much?_

XOXOXO

Grimmjow stepped into the bitter cold and stuffed his hand into the pocket of his gray, wool coat, fishing for his pack of cigarettes and his lighter. His other hand reached up and tugged his gray, cable knit hat down over his ears, protecting the fragile appendages from the biting wind and softly swirling snow. He wore a set of white thermals underneath his white, long-sleeved tee and loose-fitting, blue jeans. The jeans were well-worn and ripped in a few places, but they suited him. Tan, Timberland construction boots adorned his feet, as well as a pair of thick, athletic socks to keep out the cold. A pair of thick, white, construction gloves hung from his back pocket, making it easier to access his smokes.

After pulling one free, it took a few tries to finally get it lit because the wind was being completely obnoxious. Grimmjow inhaled deeply and rocked back on his heels, holding in the first lungful for a few seconds before blowing it out with a sigh.

_He was tired._

_He wasn't complaining though_.

He'd had his job with Urahara Construction for four months now and things seemed to be going well. He'd started out as the blond owner's apprentice and quickly made his way towards being a regular employee. Urahara had been glad to take him under his wing, once he'd realized that Grimmjow had a thing for working with his hands and was also a fast learner.

Grimmjow had met the quirky blond one night at a bar. He, Nnoitra and Szayel had been hanging out and for once, Grimmjow had been trying to drown himself in alcohol, trying to forget about a certain orange-haired man that still haunted his dreams. Urahara had ended up beside him at the bar and noticed his sullen disposition, dishing out (at the time) advice he hadn't been ready to listen to. _He didn't want some stranger trying to tell him how to live his fucking life_.

He remembered being in a really bad mood, but also drunk, so everything about him and Ichigo had come pouring out of his mouth like fucking word vomit and in the process, his job situation and background had been mentioned as well. Urahara had claimed to relate to him, offering him the apprentice position at his company and even though it burned him up on the inside, Grimmjow had had no choice but to accept, if he wanted his life to start looking up. He would admit, it had been an extremely hard task swallowing his pride, but things had turned out for the better because of it.

_Except for one thing, of course._

_Ichigo_.

Grimmjow hadn't seen the man since the night he'd left and it made his very bones ache thinking about him. _Even after six months without Ichigo, the pain was still agonizing. He'd never loved anyone in his life before he'd met the red head and it was his own fucking fault that he didn't have that love at the moment_.

He took another deep pull from his cigarette and glanced around at his surroundings. He was standing in front of the building he and the rest of Urahara's crew were working on at the moment. It was a medium-sized office building and they were putting the finishing touches on the inside of the structure, meaning the weather, although still cold, wasn't as bad as it could have been. The building was located along a modest little strip of stores and restaurants in the busier area of Karakura and Grimmjow had been taking in the different establishments across the street from where he stood.

There were three, small clothing stores, a convenience store, a small deli and a nice diner. The smells sweeping the street were making his stomach rumble unpleasantly and he realized that he hadn't had dinner yet, due to staying late at work. They were eager to finish off the building and thus had been working more hours than usual.

Grimmjow finished his cigarette and turned to head back inside, when a voice he'd thought he'd never hear again, had him freezing in his tracks. He swung wide, disbelieving blue eyes towards the hauntingly familiar voice and felt his heart plummet to the ground, landing with a loud, wet smack. _What he saw only proved that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life when he'd made Ichigo leave him_. His orange-haired ex was walking on the other side of the street with a taller, dark-haired male. The man had a wide smile, friendly eyes and was wearing a long, black, fleece coat over dark pants and a dark pair of motorcycle boots.

Ichigo was wearing the black parka with the fur-lined hood that Grimmjow had bought him for Christmas last year. His chest tightened briefly, but he ignored it and continued to allow his gaze to greedily devour the strawberry. Ichigo had on a dark blue hat, pulled down over his ears, but unable to hide the bright orange locks peeking from the sides and back, dark blue jeans and black boots. Gloves covered hands that Grimmjow remembered like yesterday being slightly rough, but soft at the same time.

Ichigo laughed at something the man beside him said, making Grimmjow swallow reflexively and put a hand to his chest. He wanted to be sad, wanted to be furious with himself and jealous as all hell, but he had to force himself to give a small smile. _As long as Ichigo was happy, then he was too_. Taking one last glance at the former love of his life, who was about to walk into the diner he'd spotted earlier, Grimmjow turned and headed back inside the building to finish out his shift, not noticing the astonished brown eyes following him as he went.

XOXOXO

Ichigo had dragged himself from the shower and forced himself to dress for his date. Kaien had called and told him to be ready at half past seven, so he had been, Karin glaring at him the entire time he'd waited in the living room for the man to pick him up. He knew that Karin was in denial about Grimmjow because the two had been rather close, Grimmjow treating her like the little sister he'd never had. He had been the same with Yuzu, but Yuzu was too concerned with Ichigo being happy, to hold a grudge against him for leaving the blue-haired man.

 _Besides, Grimmjow had forced his hand by cheating on him. All bets had been off after that_.

Kaien had arrived and Ichigo had had to keep his idiot old man from attacking the poor, unsuspecting raven-haired male on their doorstep. After another dirty look from Karin and an embarrassing exclamation of "Use protection, my son!" from his father, they had been ready to go.

Ichigo walked stiffly beside Kaien, mind in absolute turmoil. _He was confused, nervous, a tad bit frightened and a lot insecure. He wasn't sure what to expect from his companion and it left him thinking up excuses for not going through with their date. He knew it would disappoint Kaien, but...no, he would suck it up and stop acting like a pussy_. Besides, Kaien was a nice guy and he didn't deserve to be skipped out on because Ichigo was having misgivings about getting back into the dating game.

There was an awkward kind of silence that had Ichigo wondering if it was because of him, so he decided to try and start a conversation, "Uh, so, where are we going?" he asked.

Kaien jerked slightly as if Ichigo had startled him, "Oh, a, uh...somewhere to eat," he returned distractedly as he unlocked his hunter-green, Nissan Altima and poured himself inside. Ichigo followed suit, wondering what was on the taller man's mind to have him so unfocused. _Or rather so focused on something other than their date_.

 _As if he was one to talk_.

He strapped himself in and remained silent as he observed Kaien from the corner of his eye. The man was so preoccupied, he almost ran a stop sign, "K-Kaien, the sign!" Ichigo blurted, grasping the dash.

Kaien stomped on the brakes, his greenish-gray eyes wide with alarm and knuckles turning white from his grip on the steering wheel. Once he'd come to a complete and jerky stop, he glanced over at Ichigo apologetically and rubbed the back of his head, "Sorry 'bout that, Ichigo."

"Are you alright?" Ichigo didn't want to be killed because Kaien was preoccupied.

Kaien nodded and they rode to their destination in silence, Ichigo fidgeting nervously and wondering why things felt so strange. At work, he and the other man got along perfectly. He had felt the attraction there several times, but now it felt like he was the brunt of a secret joke and everyone around him was laughing at him, but he didn't know why.

They made their way to a strip about five minutes from the office where they worked and Kaien parked his car about a block from a popular diner Ichigo had heard about from his brunet friend, Chado. The quiet giant had recommended it, since he knew that Ichigo had a thing for vanilla milkshakes and french fries. _He remembered mentioning the place to Kaien a few days ago, he just hadn't expected to be taken there on their date. At least, that's where he assumed they were going considering Kaien had said something about getting food_.

Ichigo climbed from the car and waited for the raven-haired male to join him on the sidewalk before heading towards the diner, again in silence. Their footsteps were noisy, crunching loudly through the soft snow, their soft breaths puffing into the air and forming small clouds before their faces. Ichigo was beginning to get annoyed. _He'd thought he had been wrong for wanting to skip out on Kaien, but obviously the man had other things on his mind_. He knew Kaien was far from shy, so his silence gave Ichigo even more reason to feel self-conscious.

"What's your favorite food, Ichigo?" Kaien suddenly asked, throwing him off.

"Uh, french fries," he answered, still wondering what had warranted the impromptu question.

"Ah, mine is kind of weird."

Ichigo arched a brow and smirked, "Well, you can't say something like that and not say what it is."

Kaien gave his wide, signature grin and bluntly stated, "Ketchup."

Ichigo felt his jaw drop before he burst into disbelieving laughter, "HAHAHA! Oh my god! Are you serious?"

Kaien nodded and Ichigo continued to chuckle, glad that the mood had been lifted.

A few cars rumbled down the otherwise quiet road, the streetlights illuminating the modest area. They reached the diner and Kaien held the door open for him. Ichigo had started inside, when movement from the corner of his eye caught his attention and he absently turned his head to see what it was. His eyes widened and his heart stalled in his chest. There was a man walking into an office building that was in the middle of being built - from what he could tell, by the beams and tools littered around it. He was tall and his stride was achingly familiar. He wore a gray, wool coat, blue jeans and tan, construction boots. What made Ichigo stand mannequin-still though, was the bright blue hair peeking from under the gray hat the man wore.

Ichigo's heart was jack-hammering behind his ribs and his throat had suddenly gone dry from hanging wide open, the frosty evening air burning his lungs. _Even though he couldn't see the man's face, he knew there was no other person in Karakura with that shade of hair. Six months had gone by and this was the first time he had spotted his ex-boyfriend_. _He wanted to call out to Grimmjow, but what would that accomplish?_

 _He wondered if Grimmjow had seen him as well_.

"Ichigo, you ok?" Kaien asked, jerking him from his thoughts.

Nodding, he watched Grimmjow disappear into the building before turning to face his date and heading inside the diner. The quaint food place was warm and welcoming and Ichigo was grateful not to be in the freezing cold anymore. His nose felt frost-bitten and his toes were numb. The hostess led them to a small booth near the front with a window that looked out onto the street. Ichigo was easily able to see the building that Grimmjow had disappeared into. _He didn't know why he couldn't stop shivering, even though his extremities had thawed once they had entered the diner, but there was a nagging feeling it had something to do with his ex-boyfriend_.

 _He couldn't get Grimmjow out of his system_.


	3. You Got It Bad

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Know you got it bad_

_When you're stuck in the house_

_You don't wanna have fun_

_It's all you think about_

_You got it bad_

_When you're out with someone_

_But you keep on thinkin' 'bout somebody else_

_You got it bad_

_-Usher-_

XOXOXO

**Two Months Later**

Grimmjow scowled at his cell phone, ringing incessantly on the coffee table. He'd been in the middle of letting a movie watch him as he vegged out on the couch, wearing a midnight-blue wife beater and a pair of worn, black sweats, lying on his stomach and thinking of his strawberry. Ichigo had been on his mind even more so since that evening he'd seen the red head walking into a diner with another man.

_The guy was probably his boyfriend._

_How long had they been dating?_

_Had they had sex already?_

Grimmjow winced as his stomach churned ruthlessly at the thought of another man being intimate with his Ichigo. _Well, technically, Ichigo wasn't his anymore, so he was entitled to_...

The loud vibrating of his phone rescued him from his own thoughts and he leaned off of the couch to grab it, "Yo," he grunted into the device, pillowing it between his face and the couch as he let his long, right arm hang down to the floor.

"YO!" a joyful, yet gruff tenor blared through the speaker, making Grimmjow lift his head away from the phone for a few seconds to stop the ringing in his ear.

"What the fuck, Jiruga?" he growled, annoyed.

"What're ya doin' tanight, bitch-face?" Nnoitra Jiruga, an old co-worker and friend was as rude as they came, not to mention loud as all hell.

Grimmjow glanced at the digital clock on the cable box and shrugged, even though the tall, frightfully thin man couldn't see him, "Didn't have nothin' planned," he muttered. _It was eight o'clock at night and actually, he'd really planned to stay inside and laze about, thinking about his ex-boyfriend like he always did_. "Why?" he asked, suddenly suspicious. _Nnoitra sounded way too excited_.

"Pinky an' me are goin' ta King Pin and yer comin' wit' us," Nnoitra stated with finality.

Grimmjow frowned and shook his head, "No. I don't wanna."

"Ehhh? Why the fuck not? Ya ain't doin' nothin'!"

"I...don't...wanna," he reiterated slowly, hoping his slinky friend would get the picture.

 _But this was Nnoitra, so of course he didn't and even if he did, he didn't give a flying fuck_.

"Look, shit-fer-brains, yer comin' wit' us and that's the end a'that. See ya in a half hour," Nnoitra snapped and disconnected the call.

Grimmjow felt his eyes widen in shock as he pulled the phone from its crevice and stared at it, dumbfounded, "Skinny motherfucker," he sighed.

He sat up slowly first, then stood to his feet, stretching languidly, his bones and joints popping and shifting into place before he headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. _Thanks to his hard-headed friend, he now had to get dressed and go out bowling, of all things_.

 _He sucked at bowling_.

XOXOXO

"What else is new?" Ichigo asked as he tucked his cell phone between his right ear and shoulder, then hopped around trying to pull a pair of stone-washed blue jeans onto his legs.

Shuuhei growled over the line, "It's not my fault this time, though."

Ichigo chuckled as he successfully slid his pants over his slim hips, buttoned them closed and slid a yellow and dark-blue, checkered belt through the loops, "Hang on a sec, Shuu," he stated breathlessly.

Without waiting for a response, he tossed the device onto his bed and grabbed his yellow, short-sleeved tee with a dark blue guitar on the front and the words "Music is my life" written in dark-blue lettering underneath it. Ichigo pulled it over his head, straightened it a bit, then retrieved his phone from his bed, "Back."

"What the hell're you doin', Ichigo?" his spiky, raven-haired friend asked incredulously, "You ain't over there gettin' laid...are you?"

Ichigo was seated on the bed and bent at the waist, tying one of his high-top, dark-blue and yellow Pro-Keds sneakers, so his breathing sounded rather labored. _That didn't mean he was fucking! And with Shuuhei on the phone, at that!_ "Why do you sound almost excited about that, Shuu?" he teased.

There was a brief pause before Shuuhei blurted, "You are? Oh my god!"

"Fuckin' pervert. I'm not gettin' laid, I'm gettin' dressed. Aren't we supposed to be meeting up at King Pin in fifteen minutes?" he quizzed as he sat up straight.

"Yeah. Speaking a'which, I gotta go get the idiot," Shuuhei grumbled.

Ichigo gave a loud bark of laughter and stood, making his way towards his desk for his wallet and keys, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you love him," he chided.

Shuuhei grunted his agreement, said his goodbyes and disconnected the call. When Ichigo lifted his keys from his desk, he knocked a few papers to the floor. Sighing, he bent to gather them and paused as he smirked nostalgically at his secret, guilty pleasure that had fallen to the floor amongst the other sheets.

The once ripped picture of Grimmjow was now repaired with clear, scotch tape. Ichigo hadn't had the nerve or the heart to leave the photo destroyed and lying in the bottom of his trash bin, so he'd come back from his first date with Kaien and put it back together. It now hid between the pages of an old book his mother had gotten for him the day she had passed away. He must have forgotten to put it back the last time he'd been looking at it, which he did every now and then.

 _Eight months and he STILL missed the man_.

Ichigo grabbed the photo and ran his fingertips over Grimmjow's wide, infectious grin, his straight nose, his piercing, ocean blue eyes and his perfect blue eyebrows. Lastly, he drew his fingers across the man's bright blue hair as if it was the real thing and he could actually feel the soft strands between them. He studied the tall man standing at the stove in the kitchen of their old apartment. Grimmjow had been wearing a white apron, a form-fitting, white, short-sleeved t-shirt, that showed off the tattoos on his arms, and black, basketball shorts, while he fixed pancakes. It had been one of the rare times the man had risen before him to make breakfast, so Ichigo had made a big deal of it and taken a picture. He chuckled to himself and returned the photo back to its resting place, wondering why he still felt the way he did about the man and how, amazingly, it didn't bother him the way it used to. _He was more or less resigned to the fact that he would always love Grimmjow; he just didn't know why_.

XOXOXO

"Fuck you, Slim Shady," Grimmjow grumbled as he trudged back to his seat, having epically failed with his fourth consecutive gutter ball.

Nnoitra continued to cackle as he raised his long frame from his seat and moved to the ball rack, preparing for his turn at the pins. He was wearing a form-fitting, short-sleeved, pale green t-shirt, dark-blue jeans and the mandatory, red and beige, striped bowling shoes. Szayel sat behind the score monitor, pink hair glowing under the neon, rave-like lights. He was wearing a long-sleeved, white button-up, the sleeves rolled to his elbows and the first two buttons undone, a dark gray tie that hung loosely around the collar of his shirt, dark gray skinny jeans and the ugly ass bowling shoes. There was a beer beside the monitor that the pink-haired man sipped occasionally, but mostly he wore a smirk as he adjusted his silver, rectangular-framed glasses every few minutes.

Grimmjow plopped into one of the bright red seats located behind Szayel and the score monitor and stretched his long legs. He glared down at the hideous bowling shoes he wore, wondering who the fuck designed such monstrosities. They made his already big feet seem cruise ship long. _It was ridiculous_. Not to mention, they matched nothing he was wearing. Not his form-fitting, burnt-orange, short-sleeved, v-neck t-shirt with "Bitch, I'm the man" written across the front in light-gray lettering, nor his light-gray jeans that were ripped comfortably at the knees. Those atrocious shoes didn't even match his fucking royal blue boxer briefs.

Grimmjow's arms were covered with tattoos, some kanji and an armband on his left and on his right, a black and dark blue dragon, whose tail wound around his wrist and forearm, while the body rested on his bicep, the neck continuing over his shoulder and the head on his right pectoral. Both of his ears were pierced and sporting two, tiny, black hoops in each lobe. The only other accessories he wore were his thick, black, leather wristbands and his black, thumb rings. Urahara had scolded him and accused him of being an undercover rock star because of his appearance, but that was his natural skin. _He couldn't change his style even if he'd wanted to_.

Grimmjow stood and made for the long bar located beside the mini-arcade to grab a beer. King Pin was a popular bowling alley and widely known for its Friday All-Night Bowling. It had a bar for the adults, an arcade for the kids and a snack bar for everyone. There were thirty lanes available to the public and during Friday All-Night Bowling, the regular house lights were shut off, and the glowing, neon rave lights and black lights were turned on. Large projection screens were lowered, where popular music videos were shown, while the music blared loudly over several speakers. It was an overall festive atmosphere and great if you were out on a date.

_He knew._

_He'd brought Ichigo here for their first date and the strawberry had had a ball kicking his ass_.

Grimmjow smiled in remembrance as he maneuvered through the large cluster of people gathered at the front desk for shoes and open lanes. He finally reached the bar and ordered his beer, leaning against the counter and drumming his fingers as he waited for it. A loud, whiny voice to his left made him cringe and turn a dark scowl in its direction. _Who the fuck was that?_ He turned to see a slim blond, hair cropped into a short, chin-length bob.

The guy was wearing a black dress shirt, a gray and black striped, skinny tie and black skinny jeans. He was also wearing the ugly bowling shoes, but the guy he was whining at was carrying his, while he walked barefoot. _Brave man_.

Grimmjow vaguely recognized the blond as one of Ichigo's old friends. He didn't know if they were still in touch, but he definitely knew they had been close at one point. _Shinji something or other?_ Grimmjow was brought back to the present by the short, white-haired bartender, who was handing him his beer, wearing a deep scowl as he glared at the blond.

 _Guess he wasn't the only one offended by the blond's whining_.

He grabbed the beer, paid and headed back to his seat, oblivious to the amused stares coming from Nnoitra and Szayel. He took a few swigs of the cold beverage before finally emerging from la-la land and glancing up at his friends.

"What?" he grunted defensively. _Why the fuck were they looking at him like that? Did he have something on his face?_

"We've got neighbors," Nnoitra answered with a sly smirk.

Grimmjow frowned, wondering what the hell that had to do with him. Then the pieces slid into place. _The blond at the bar, Szayel's and Nnoitra's amused looks and smiles_... _Fuck_. He slowly turned his head to the right and felt his eyes widen as they landed on a head of bright orange hair.

 _Ichigo_.

XOXOXO

"Shinji, you were slower than a woman getting dressed! We're just going bowling!" Shuuhei argued with the blond.

"So? I like ta look good wherever I go," Shinji retorted petulantly.

Ichigo shook his head as they stood in front of King Pin, waiting for his date, Kaien. He and Kaien had been seeing each other kind of sporadically, going on the occasional date or group date, as they were doing tonight. This time it was Shuuhei Hisagi and his boyfriend, (also Ichigo's friend) Shinji Hirako. The couple was an odd one and sometimes Ichigo wondered how they put up with one another, but then they would banish his doubts by being more functional than a well-oiled machine. _It was weird how that worked._

"You already look good. You don't need to take forever doing unnecessary things," Shuuhei grumbled and Shinji blushed as he sidled closer to his boyfriend.

"Thank you," the slim blond responded, running a hand up Shuuhei's chest.

The raven-haired male grinned saucily and pulled Shinji closer, leaning in for a kiss. Ichigo shook his head and rolled his eyes as the two made obnoxious kissing noises, Shinji giggling in short bursts. He was just about to turn and go inside to get away from the lovebirds, when Kaien sauntered up, wearing a wide grin, a black, short-sleeved tee, dark blue jeans and black, high-top sneakers. His ebony-hued hair was spiky and unruly on top, but long in the back and his greenish-gray eyes were alive with amusement.

Ichigo grinned as the taller man greeted him with a chaste kiss to the lips. He shifted nervously, still not used to the attention and indicated the door with his chin, "You ready to go in?"

Kaien nodded and held the door open, "Ladies first."

Ichigo scowled, "Fuck you," he muttered as he slipped inside, Kaien chortling behind him.

His heart was hammering as he glanced around the darkened bowling alley, lit up by rave lights and black lights and vibrating from loud music. He and Grimmjow had come here for their first date and he was nervous about being in the place with another guy. _It felt like he was desecrating something sacred_. Ichigo and the rest of his group made their way down the entrance ramp and towards the front desk to rent their lanes and shoes for the evening.

"Your sister hates me, you know," Kaien stated out of the blue, making Ichigo turn and stare at him in shock once they'd finally reached the front desk.

"What the hell? Where did that come from?" he blurted. _How did Kaien know that? He didn't remember introducing him to Karin_.

Kaien shrugged nonchalantly as he retrieved his wallet from his back pocket, "Well, I stopped by your place to see if you wanted a ride, but you had already left and your sister answered the door. Uh, she wasn't very nice," he answered with a nervous chuckle.

Ichigo cringed and just barely resisted the urge to hang his head in embarrassment, "Kaien, I'm sorry. She's-she's just pissed-"

"Yeah, I got that much. What'd I do to her?"

"What size, sir?" the attendant behind the front desk interrupted and Ichigo was jerked from his temporary crisis. _Dammit, Karin_.

"Ten," he answered stiffly, almost afraid to face his date as he waited for his shoes.

After the shoes and lanes were paid for, Shinji ended up skipping off in the opposite direction, Shuuhei following behind him at a slower gait. Ichigo followed Kaien towards the lanes they'd been assigned, mind bubbling like a volcano. _How was he supposed to answer that question? He couldn't tell Kaien the reason his little sister didn't like him was because she was still hoping that he and his ex would get back together. That was just plain insulting_.

Ichigo stumbled on the stairs that led down to lanes twenty-one and twenty-two, his lack of concentration almost causing him to create an embarrassing spectacle. He caught himself and wearily plopped into the seat behind the score monitor, massaging his temples and willing away the small tension headache that had begun to form there.

Kaien stood beside him and put a hand on his shoulder as he leaned down and placed a kiss on his cheek, "I'm not stressin' it, Ichigo, so you shouldn't either. I just thought maybe I'd done something to piss her off or something."

Ichigo grinned and turned to face the dark-haired male, "Thanks, Kaien. It's kind of complicated that's all," he mumbled, still kind of embarrassed that his sister had been hostile towards the guy.

"It's cool," Kaien returned and ruffled Ichigo's hair, making him swat the man away.

He took the next few minutes to enter everyone's name into the score monitor, while Kaien went about finding a suitable ball. Ichigo had finally managed to calm his nerves, when he felt the unmistakable sensation of eyes boring into him. Thinking it was his date, he glanced up, only to find Kaien still huddled over a group of bowling balls, inspecting the sizes of the holes. Frowning slightly, he glanced to his right, but didn't recognize the army of teenagers milling about in that area. A soft, barely there chill caressed his spine as he turned to his left.

His mouth fell open a bit on its own as his eyes locked with narrowed bright blue. He choked on his saliva as he stared back at the tall man that was currently pinning him in place with his intense gaze. Suddenly, his mouth was entirely too dry, like he'd been sucking on cotton balls, and his heart was bouncing around in his chest like an excited three year old. He couldn't pull his eyes away from the sight of his ex-boyfriend.

_Honestly, he didn't really want to either._

_Grimmjow looked good enough to eat_.

Ichigo remembered the man being big and tall and all kinds of muscular, but it seemed as if he'd bulked up a bit more. His chest appeared broader, his arms thicker and roped with more muscle, hell, even his legs seemed more...more...defined.

He bit his bottom lip before releasing it, as well as a deep sigh. Grimmjow's bright blue hair was just as untamed and sexy as he'd remembered, his eyes still just as dazzling. He couldn't tell if his lips were still as full as they'd been before because the other man had them pursed, but Ichigo assumed that they were.

 _Grimmjow didn't look happy to see him at all_.

For a brief moment, he felt his chest tighten and his throat threaten to clog before he swallowed and hardened his gaze. He wouldn't let the man intimidate him. Grimmjow arched a brow and smirked, lifting a beer to his lips as he turned away, which only served to piss Ichigo the fuck off.

_How dare he?_

He sat rigid in his seat, almost trembling with rage as his heart pounded frantically in his chest. _Grimmjow didn't care_. Their break-up hadn't affected him in the least, while Ichigo had to fight with his emotions every fucking day. _He'd only just started getting used to the fact that they were no longer together and that they probably never would be again_. Now, to see the man he still loved very much, looking at him as if he didn't care if he lived or died, was disturbing and left him absolutely livid.

Ichigo turned away from the sight of his ex and stared unseeingly at the score monitor, jaw tense and twitching right along with his left eyebrow. A loud voice interrupted his dark mood, making him glare at Shinji, who had just arrived with a beer in hand and Shuuhei following with the same.

"It's no fun if you don't!" Shinji snapped at his raven-haired boyfriend.

Shuuhei scowled and swatted Shinji's backside in a playful manner, "You can have fun without getting wasted, but since you insist, don't let your feelings get hurt when I laugh at you for falling, trying to bowl drunk. Baka," he chided, his voice devoid of any real heat.

Shinji grinned and blew him a kiss and Ichigo nearly gagged at the fluff. _He couldn't take this kind of scene with the mood he was in_. Kaien approached him and handed him a neon pink ball, "I thought you'd like this one, babe," he said with a mischievous grin.

Normally, Ichigo would've laughed it off, but the venom in his system caused him to glare at his date and stalk away, anger stiffening his stride and bristling his hair. He vaguely registered the sound of Shinji's and Kaien's confusion and Shuuhei's reassurance that everything was fine. _How wrong his friend was_. Ichigo stomped to the bathroom and stood in front of the sink, death-glaring his reflection. _He didn't know who he was more angry with at the moment: Grimmjow or himself_.

Grimmjow could have showed an ounce of remorse for cheating on him, shown some type of regret, maybe even apologized. _Nah, on second thought, Grimmjow was too fucking proud to apologize for anything, even if he was wrong as two left shoes. It didn't matter_. Ichigo was also angry with himself for losing his composure in front of the man.

Snarling and baring his teeth lightly, he gripped the edge of the sink and bowed his head. _He had the worst luck ever. What were the odds of running into his ex-boyfriend here of all places? Sure, Grimmjow had brought him here for their first date, but as far as he'd known, the man couldn't bowl to save his life, so unless he was on a date, there really was no reason for the taller man to be here_. He refused to dwell on the idea of the man being on a date, for fear of going off the deep end in a fit of jealousy.

Ichigo turned on the tap and splashed his face with cold water, trying to cool off and calm himself before heading back out. He reached blindly for a paper towel, wiping his face after snatching a decent amount of the tissue from its roll. He rotated his shoulders, took a deep breath, left the sink and rounded the corner leading to the door of the bathroom. He was on his way out, when he careened into what felt like a brick wall. He would've gone down, had the other person not gripped his shoulders and steadied him.

"Thanks," he muttered as he touched the tip of his aching nose.

"Heh," was the only response he received...but it had been enough.

His eyes widened to the size of silver platters as he gazed up into the face of his ex. Grimmjow still had his hands on his shoulders and the touch was all too familiar. _He was tempted to lean into the taller man and wrap his arms around his waist, but an image of the man's earlier expression leaped to the fore-front of his mind_. Ichigo roughly shrugged the man off and glared at him, his heart closing in on itself. His chest was tight and he couldn't breathe, but he refused to let Grimmjow see him in pain.

Those insanely blue eyes narrowed and sharpened, "What's your problem?"

 _Kami, that voice_.

It made him gasp quietly as he lowered his gaze to the blue and white checkered tiling of the floor. _H-he couldn't do this. He'd thought he would've been able to confront the man after so long, but just hearing his voice was unraveling him_. Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his hands into fists, fighting to remain in control, "Nothing," he snapped and tried to brush past the bigger man.

 _Didn't work_.

Grimmjow put a hand on his chest, much like he'd done the night Ichigo had left, but this time he didn't change course, "Ichigo," Ichigo felt his knees weaken at the sound of his name, but forced himself to be stronger as he brushed Grimmjow's hand away, "Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For how I treated ya an' all, ya know?"

Ichigo was struck dumb and speechless all at the same time. _What?_ He snapped his head up to stare into passionate electric blue, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. _Had the world finally turned upside down? What the hell?_ He didn't know how to respond, instead only managing to ogle Grimmjow numbly, feeling like a fish on dry land as his mind floundered about in his skull.

"Does that guy make ya happy?" Grimmjow continued and if Ichigo hadn't known better, he would've sworn he saw a look of agony flash through those bright spheres of blue.

Ichigo wanted to scream out "no" with every fiber of his being, but it wouldn't change the fact that Grimmjow had cheated on him and even if he were to take the man back, he would never be able to trust him again. "I mean, he doesn't cheat, if that's what you're asking," he answered bitterly.

Grimmjow's sharp jaw tensed and jumped as he averted his gaze and nodded shortly, "I deserved that." He swung his eyes back to Ichigo and stared down at him, his demeanor that of someone wanting to say more, but being unable to. "Take care," he rumbled, turned on his heel and left the bathroom.

Ichigo gulped and placed a hand over his heart. There were about a million emotions bursting and exploding in his chest like fireworks and he didn't know if he could contain them any longer. Grimmjow had not only apologized, but he'd looked genuinely remorseful. Ichigo felt like shit for saying what he had, but the taller man deserved even more than that for what he'd done to him. _There had been no reason for Grimmjow to run his heart through a cheese grater_.

_Fuck._

_He needed a drink_.

With that thought in mind, he stalked out of the bathroom and towards the bar.

XOXOXO

Szayel watched his blue-haired friend trudge back to his seat and lower himself wearily into it. His face was drawn and helpless, his ocean blue eyes dark with unspoken emotional turmoil and Szayel knew the exact reason why. He had been privy to the little scene that had taken place in the bathroom's doorway and he knew first-hand that his best friend was still pining over his orange-haired ex. _Frankly, he thought that both of them were ten steps past retarded, but hey. Who was he to say anything, right?_

 _Wrong_.

He'd scolded Grimmjow time and time again for making the boy break things off with him. _It was so obvious that they were meant for each other and his stupid, blue-haired baka of a best friend had let his pride stand in the way of his heart_. Szayel didn't understand why the orange-haired boy, Ichigo, hadn't seen right through Grimmjow's pathetic little song and dance of pretending to be drunk and high. _He'd thought the boy would've been smarter than that, but alas, he too had let his pride stand before his heart, not to mention his logic_.

Szayel would admit that the plan had gone off marvelously, but now, Grimmjow and Ichigo were suffering like dehydrated and starving men. _Normally, he wasn't one to care or play match-maker, but his best friend had gone through enough with his past misfortunes and he just wasn't willing to sit back and watch as the guy tortured himself_.

The scene that had unfolded by the bathroom had only proven his suspicions of Ichigo still having feelings for Grimmjow. _He didn't know if the two of them were blind or just plain stupid, but he prided himself on being neither_. Szayel was aware of the hurt and confusion in the orange-haired male's eyes as Ichigo stalked off towards the bar and he was ready to take advantage of what he deemed the perfect opportunity.

Grimmjow lifted his beer and scowled after sipping it, "Fuck, it's all warm now," he muttered sullenly.

Szayel grinned wolfishly.

 _Even better_.

He turned to Nnoitra, who was eyeing him suspiciously as he reached for his ball to take his turn at the pins. He winked conspiratorially and the freakishly tall man rolled his eye and turned his back. With a soft chuckle, Szayel refocused on Grimmjow, "You want a new one? I was just on my way to get myself another," he offered cordially.

Grimmjow glanced up at him through his bright blue bangs before lowering his gaze to the floor, "Yeah, sure."

Szayel allowed his grin to spread as he feigned ignorance to his best friend's dampened mood. He rose from his perch behind the score monitor and hustled off towards the bar, hoping to catch a certain orange-haired man before he went back to his group of friends. He pushed through the throngs of people blocking his way and finally reached the bar, spotting Ichigo's bright head of hair with ease. The boy was seated at the bar, twirling a bottle of beer in one hand as he rested his chin in the other.

Szayel eased over to him and slid onto the black stool to the kid's left, tilting his head as he regarded him with a large amount of pity. _He was so stupid. And confused_.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat, gaining Ichigo's attention like he'd hoped he would.

Anguished brown eyes swiveled in his direction and Szayel actually "tsk'ed" with displeasure at the sight, "You're such a sad sight to behold," he stated, making Ichigo scowl at him.

"Excuse me?"

Szayel rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, "You are a pitiful sight," he rephrased slowly, emphasizing the word pitiful.

"You're-" Ichigo started, recognition lighting a fire in those nutty depths, "You're Grimmjow's best friend, aren't you?"

Szayel arched a brow and smirked, "How many of those have you had already?" he asked, wondering how many pink-haired best friends Grimmjow had.

Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, obviously thinking the same thing before he remembered his anger, "Oi, what the fuck did you mean by that 'pitiful sight' shit?" he snapped.

"I meant what I said. And it is so obvious that you used to live with that idiot ogre. Such potty-mouths," Szayel answered with a shake of his head as he brushed aside a strand of his pink hair.

Ichigo flushed a deep crimson and started to stand, when Szayel gripped his wrist, halting him, "What? I'm not gonna let you sit here and insult me!"

"Arara, this isn't going the way I'd hoped." He turned honey-colored eyes to the boy, "Sit. I need to speak with you," he ordered. Ichigo arched a slim, orange brow, but did as he was told. He opened his mouth to speak, but Szayel beat him to the punch, "I know that you still love him."

Ichigo's mouth snapped shut and his lips pulled into a deep frown, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, let's not pretend to be daft," he scolded as he released the boy's wrist. "You know very well what and to WHOM I am referring. Now, do you deny it?"

Ichigo averted his gaze and stared off at nothing in particular. There was such a long moment of silence that Szayel had begun to doubt he would answer at all. Finally, a softly uttered, "No," breezed past Ichigo's lips.

"Then, you're just as stupid as he is," Szayel snapped, glaring at the side of Ichigo's head.

Ichigo turned and glared right back, "Look...I don't know what you're hoping to accomplish by insulting me-"

"He still loves you, Ichigo. As a matter of fact, he's never stopped."

Szayel watched with satisfaction as Ichigo's face paled drastically and his lips parted in shock. It looked as if the younger male had no idea what to feel first, but obviously astonishment was winning out big time. He decided to continue while he still had the boy's attention, "Grimmjow is my best friend, but he's also a prideful baka. Too prideful, if you ask me. Do you know the lengths to which he went to get you to leave him? And all because he thought you deserved better than himself?" he asked incredulously, still unable to fathom his friend's thought process.

Ichigo opened and closed his mouth several times before opting to leave it shut as he stared back at Szayel. Szayel started to speak again, but this time Ichigo beat him to the punch, "Wait! What do you mean? I-I don't understand," he stuttered.

Szayel honestly felt bad for him, but he also felt the boy needed to hear the truth. _He knew he had no right to meddle, but he figured Grimmjow would eventually forgive him if it meant having the orange-haired youth back at his side_ , "Grimmjow never had more than two drinks whenever we went out and the man never got high. He thought he was fooling me, but honestly, I don't know why he would think such a thing, since I'm in med-school and can tell when someone is genuinely under the influence or merely pretending.

"At any rate, he was more cohesive than he'd led others to believe, including you. And although he may seem like a bad boy in appearance, he does have a few morals. He would never have cheated on you, Ichigo. He was pretending with that, as well."

Szayel wanted to reach out and pat the boy's shoulder as he watched Ichigo struggling with his emotions. _It was clear that Ichigo was still confused_ , "Szel-"

"Szayel," he swiftly corrected, fighting the urge to snap at the boy.

"Sorry. Szayel, Grimmjow cheated on me. He even admitted it," Ichigo uttered, voice laced with sheer bewilderment.

Szayel sighed, frustrated. _Grimmjow had indeed dug himself a tidy, little hole_. "What did he say exactly?"

Ichigo frowned and stared down at the bottle of beer in his hand, "H-he, he...he'd said..." his voice trailed off as his frown deepened.

Szayel waited patiently for the red head's response, somehow knowing that even though Grimmjow had deceived the boy, he hadn't outright lied to him. Ichigo lifted his head and glared off into the distance, mouth screwed up so tightly, it was white around the edges.

"I'd asked him who he'd been with and he'd asked me why it was my business. Then, he pointed out that-that I wasn't having sex with him anymore, but..." again Ichigo's voice died out as he finally allowed his eyes to meet Szayel's.

"But had he directly claimed being with someone else?" Szayel prodded gently, not wanting to scare Ichigo into silence, right when there was a breakthrough on the horizon.

Ichigo had another moment of silence before he slowly shook his head, "N-no, he didn't." Ichigo's hands were trembling as he used them both to grip his beer bottle. "What are you saying to me, Szayel? That Grimmjow...never cheated? That he only pushed me away because he thought I deserved someone better than him?" he asked, voice rising an octave with each question.

Szayel grinned widely, oblivious to Ichigo's crumbling composure and near breakdown, "Yes!" he answered enthusiastically before continuing, "So, you see? There's really nothing keeping the two of you apart except his pride and your ignorance."

Suddenly, Ichigo surged to his feet, sepia-brown eyes practically glowing with ire, "This isn't fucking funny, you pink-haired piece of shit!" Szayel felt his jaw drop in shock, but before he could respond, Ichigo continued his tirade, "I don't know what you're playing at, but you should stop before I kick your ass and post it on youtube!"

With that, Ichigo whirled on his heel and left the bar, his beer forgotten on the counter. Szayel rubbed his chin in thought, ignoring the curious glances from the other patrons surrounding him. _Maybe this would turn out for the best, regardless of the younger man's anger_. Szayel had – at the very least – given him something to chew on for the time being.

 _Grimmjow was that much closer to having him back_.

Szayel got the attention of the short, white-haired bartender and ordered two beers, hoping for his sake that he was right.

XOXOXO

Grimmjow felt like he was slowly dying from the inside as he sat in his seat and watched Nnoitra toss a heavy bowling ball down the lane. _He couldn't steer his thoughts from his orange-haired ex and it was driving him mad_. He was jealous as hell and had had to stop himself several times from going over to Ichigo's new beau and squeezing the life out of him.

 _It was his own fault that Ichigo had moved on, after all_.

He ground his teeth together as he heard the dark-haired man laugh at something Ichigo's blond friend had said. He couldn't take it anymore and jumped from his seat like it was on fire. Nnoitra glanced at him in surprise, his dark, violet eye narrowed skeptically.

"What the fuck's wrong with ya?" his tall friend asked, cradling a neon green bowling ball.

"Need a cigarette," he mumbled as he kicked off the annoyingly ugly bowling shoes and stepped into his high-top Nike Jordans.

He snatched up his light-gray hoodie and stalked towards the front door, body crying our for release in the form of nicotine. He saw exactly when Ichigo's blond friend noticed him, dark eyes going wide with surprise. Grimmjow sneered and quickened his pace when the blond turned to his dark-haired companion and pointed him out. _He wasn't ready to become someone's entertainment_. He made it to the outside of the building, stepped off to the side and after slipping into his hoodie, retrieved his smokes and lighter, hurriedly lighting one and inhaling deeply.

 _Blessed relief_.

He exhaled slowly and rubbed his twitching right eyebrow. _He didn't know what to do with himself_. He hadn't really meant to confront Ichigo the way he had, but when he'd seen how angry his ex was after seeing him, he'd gone to make things a little less awkward. _Or so he'd thought_. He'd only meant to swallow his pride a bit, apologize and let Ichigo know that he was ok with his new boyfriend as long as the red head was happy. _Then, Ichigo had plunged a stake through his heart by mentioning the cheating thing_. It only hurt the way it did because HE knew it was untrue, but Ichigo didn't and what was worse, Grimmjow wanted to keep it that way.

He sucked in another lungful of the hazardous smoke and closed his eyes. He'd known he'd missed Ichigo, but being so close to him, smelling him, feeling him...it only made him realize that he ached for his ex. _He'd wanted so badly to pull the smaller man close and kiss him. The need was breathtaking and acute and there was no way to get around it_. Grimmjow rubbed his chest and winced. _Maybe he should just leave while he still could. Being around Ichigo wasn't healthy for him, not to mention agonizing_.

He was taking another pull on the cigarette, when Ichigo's new man stepped out of the bowling alley and stood a few feet away from him. Grimmjow scrunched his brows together, wondering if the raven-haired male was trying to initiate something, when he noticed the small phone tucked between the guy's ear and shoulder as he dug in his front pocket.

"Rukia, I can't deal with this right now," the man stated, making Grimmjow's frown deepen.

 _He knew he shouldn't be eavesdropping, but hell, even if Ichigo wanted nothing to do with him, he would still make sure this new man of his had his best interests at heart_.

"What are you talking about? You told me you were on birth control!" the man continued and Grimmjow could feel anger churning and frothing in his gut like bath foam. His cigarette forgotten, he turned to glare at the man's back as he went on with his conversation with this "Rukia" person.

"I'm not gonna leave him just because you made me believe you were on birth control, when you really weren't! That's not fair to him! Or me, for that matter!" There was a brief pause where Grimmjow was left feeling guilty for having doubted Ichigo's instincts, but the other man proceeded to open mouth and insert foot. "And? So what if I did fuck him? That's not your business!"

Grimmjow saw red.

 _He had no right, he knew, but he couldn't take the very proof of Ichigo having moved on_. He couldn't take listening to this man flaunting the fact that he had probably done things only Grimmjow had been allowed to do to the strawberry and yes, it damn well bent him out of shape.

"Yes! Ok? Yes, I fucked him and yes, it was very good!" the man nearly shouted.

Grimmjow felt his nostrils flare as he dropped his cigarette and stormed up to the unsuspecting, dark-haired male. He fisted both hands in the front of the man's black t-shirt and roughly shoved him against the side of the building, the man's eyes going wide as he dropped his cell phone. Adrenaline coursed through Grimmjow's system in a hurry and his armpits were starting to perspire from his agitation. He snarled in the man's face, his upper lip curled back in disgust as he glared down at him.

 _He couldn't believe the cheek of this little fucker_.

Grimmjow wanted to rip the man's dick clean from his body and toss it into the grass nearby, never to be used again and especially not on his strawberry. He didn't know what to say to the guy, so all he could do was stand and glare as he tried unsuccessfully to rein in his wrath. He had never before been so angry in his life and it almost scared him.

"Who the fuck are you?" the guy snapped wearing a deep frown as he tried to pry Grimmjow's hands from his shirt.

That only made him press the man harder against the wall as he tucked his bottom lip between his teeth. The man's eyes were a weird shade of green and gray and at the moment, they were alive with annoyance and anger.

"I asked you a question, asshole!"

Grimmjow snorted, "Be careful what ya say 'round people ya don't know," he growled, unable to say what he really wanted to.

There was obviously a reason Ichigo hadn't told this guy about him and it wasn't his place to inform him. _He would kick his ass though_.

"G-Grimmjow, what are you doing?"

It was like an ice-cold bucket of water had been dumped over his head. He glared down at the onyx-haired man a few seconds more before releasing him and turning to face his ex-boyfriend. Ichigo stood a few feet away wearing a confused expression and Grimmjow immediately felt guilty. _He shouldn't have jacked up the strawberry's boyfriend, but he'd been beyond pissed_.

Instead of answering Ichigo, he gave the dark-haired man one last warning glance, then threw his hood over his head as he stalked off through the parking lot and towards his car. _He had to get out of there before he made an even bigger fool of himself_.

"Grimmjow! Wait!"

 _Ichigo_.

"I said wait, dammit!"

"Leave me alone, Ichigo. Go back to your boyfriend," he tossed over his shoulder without bothering to look back.

 _It killed him to acknowledge that dark-haired guy as Ichigo's boyfriend, but it had to be done_. He quickly wound through the rows of parked vehicles before he spotted the dark-green mini-van that was obscuring his smaller, silver sedan. He was fishing around in his hoodie pocket for his car keys, when his elbow was gripped and tugged with more force than he'd expected from the smaller male.

Finally, he faced the man, inwardly cringing at the look on Ichigo's face. Those syrupy-brown eyes were glinting with anger and confusion and those thin, orange brows were furrowed together. Grimmjow licked his lips and averted his gaze, for once uncertain of how to react or respond.

"Why did you attack Kaien?" Ichigo asked, voice sharp as a whip's crack.

Grimmjow couldn't help himself and sneered in disdain, "Oh, that's lover-boy's name? Sorry if I scared 'im," he bit out, unable to conceal his white-hot rage and jealousy. "I never thought ya'd fuck someone like that though," he spat as if the very words tasted awful on his tongue.

Ichigo shook his head, frown deepening as he considered him silently. Grimmjow wanted to shift in discomfort under that dissecting gaze, but refused to show anymore weakness. " What the fuck are you talking about? For one, I've never fucked him and two, I don't understand! _You_ cheated on _me_! _You_ did this to us! _You're_ the one that went and fu-" Ichigo started.

Emotions (aside from the immense relief at finding his strawberry really hadn't had sex with that lying asshole) Grimmjow had been keeping under lock and key, finally managed to burst free from their prison as he growled and pushed Ichigo against the van parked beside his car. His left hand on the shorter male's chest, he gazed imploringly down into those mesmerizing brown eyes, "I didn't fuckin' cheat on you, Ichigo!" he exclaimed, heart hammering ruthlessly behind his ribs.

 _Kami, he'd wanted to say that since the night Ichigo had walked out of his life_.

Ichigo stared up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes and Grimmjow further gave into temptation. He brought his right hand up to cup the back of Ichigo's neck as he dipped his head and let his lips settle over the soft, parted ones of his ex. Ichigo gasped, his mouth opening a little more and Grimmjow took full advantage, slipping his tongue into the unsuspecting cavern. He groaned at the taste he'd missed so much. Ichigo's hands came up to push him away, but when Grimmjow deepened the kiss and used the hand that had been on the red head's chest to grip his hip and pull him closer, Ichigo relented and began returning the kiss with a feverish intensity.

Grimmjow couldn't breathe and he really didn't want to. _That would mean ending the kiss and for the love of everything Christmas, he definitely didn't want that_. Ichigo was moaning softly and pressing his body closer to him as he clung to his hoodie and Grimmjow had the hand that had been cupping the back of Ichigo's neck, buried in the man's bright orange locks. The kiss was desperate and needy and filled with all kinds of urgency.

His heart felt like it was on the verge of beating itself to death, but he didn't care. _He'd been craving this for so long and even if it was merely a fluke, he wanted to experience it for as long as possible_. Ichigo lifted a hand and ran it through his tousled blue hair, making his body quiver like a jellyfish.

"Ichigo!"

Ichigo jerked away from him as if he were the devil himself, leaving him panting and aching in places that had been dormant for the past eight months. Ichigo's eyes were wide as he stared up at him again, this time touching his lips in awe. Grimmjow stepped back and bumped into his car, pulling his keys from his hoodie pocket as the sound of footsteps grew nearer. He turned, fumbling with them due to his shaking hands before he managed to find the right one and fit it into the lock. After he unlocked his car, he glanced over his shoulder one last time at his ex, who was still breathing heavily and staring at him as if he'd seen a ghost.

Grimmjow eased into his car, threw back his hood and started the engine, backing out of the parking spot with a squeal of rubber against pavement just as Ichigo's dark-haired boyfriend reached him. He watched in the rear view mirror as Ichigo snapped out of his reverie and turned to the concerned man before he peeled out of the lot and sped down the street.

 _He was going to have a hard time sleeping tonight_.


	4. Up and Down

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

**One Week Later**

_He had kissed him._

_Grimmjow had kissed him._

_And he'd kissed him back_.

Ichigo sat in the neighborhood park, swinging morosely on an old swing set, his shoes dragging in the dirt. His hands had a death grip around the lengths of chain connecting the plastic swing to the metal bar it hung from. The sky was a midnight blue, the full moon bright and glowing while stars sparkled around it. The air was balmy and comfortable, while Ichigo was anything but. His mind had refused to settle down since the week before, when he had been out on a double date with Kaien, Shuuhei and Shinji and had encountered his ex.

He still couldn't believe the man had kissed him, that he'd kissed him back, but more than that, he couldn't believe the man had claimed not cheating on him. _Had Szayel been telling the truth then? Or was he just working with Grimmjow to make it seem as if the guy was innocent, therefore making it possible to get back in Ichigo's good graces?_

_He didn't know._

_He just didn't know_.

 _He did know that the kiss had stirred up a whole hornet's nest of old emotions and feelings; things he'd thought he'd locked away for good_. Ichigo should have known better, though. The incident in the bathroom should have alerted him to the fact that he was not quite as over Grimmjow as he'd thought.

 _He'd been naïve_.

Ichigo rubbed a hand over his brow and stared up at the darkened sky. _He was so confused_. He didn't know what to think anymore, not to mention, Kaien had been acting strangely since that night as well. Whenever Ichigo called him, he seemed to be busy or just didn't want to talk. _Did he know that Ichigo had kissed Grimmjow that night? Or was he just not interested anymore?_

Ichigo pulled his cell phone from his back pocket and stared at it, contemplating what to do. He wanted to call Kaien, but when he opened the device, his finger dialed an entirely different number on its own. Horrified, but unable to stop himself, he lifted the phone to his ear and listened to the ringing on the other line. His hand was shaking and his heart was on the verge of beating through his ribs.

"Ya've reached-"

Ichigo disconnected the call before the voice mail message finished. He pressed a hand to his forehead and chuckled softly under his breath. _Maybe it was a sign that no one had answered. He should just leave well enough alone and figure out what to do with the other half of his life_. He was sliding his phone back into his pocket, when it started ringing.

_It's like I've been awakened_

_Every rule I had you breakin'_

_It's the risk that I'm takin'_

_I ain't never gonna shut you out_

He knew without even glancing at the readout who the caller was. He must not have been near his phone when Ichigo called.

_Everywhere I'm looking now_

_I'm surrounded by your embrace_

_Baby, I can see your halo_

_You know you're my saving grace_

Ichigo smiled ruefully. He had never had the heart to change the man's ring tone and hearing it now was making his heart pound and his throat constrict as he tried to swallow around the lump that had suddenly formed.

_You're everything I need and more_

_It's written all over your face_

_Baby, I can feel your halo_

_Pray it won't fade away_

It was such a girly song, but the words had been so true at the time, he'd felt it would have been a cruel injustice not to assign it as the man's ring tone. The phone stopped ringing, only to start right back up again. Ichigo grinned and shook his head at the guy's persistence. _Why the hell had he called him again?_

_Oh, yeah._

_He was drunk as all hell, trying to figure out why he still had feelings for him_.

Ichigo lifted the phone and connected the call, not bothering to say a word.

"Ichigo?" the deep voice reverberated through the tiny speaker. Ichigo grinned and just listened. "Ichigo? Ya there?"

He cleared his throat and finally decided to stop playing around, his mind muzzy and light as a cloud, "Yeah, I'm here," he answered.

The man sighed and there was a brief pause before he was speaking again, "Are ya ok? Yer not hurt, are ya?"

Leave it to him to still worry about his well-being, even though they were no longer together. Ichigo sighed through his nose and shook his head, wondering why Grimmjow had cheated on him. _Or...had he at all?_

 _He was so fucking confused_.

"Why?" Ichigo croaked, the lump in his throat swelling as tears stung the backs of his eyes.

His breath puffed out in small bursts and his head was beginning to ache from the puzzlement he was suffering. He picked at a spot on his khaki cargo shorts as he slowed the swing to a stop, digging the heels of his high-top, brown and white Converse sneakers into the soft, sand-colored dirt.

"Why what, Ichigo?"

Ichigo took a deep breath and leaned his head back, gazing at the stars, a small frown tilting the corners of his mouth. _He knew what he wanted to ask. Whether Grimmjow would answer him was a different story_. "Why did you kiss me?"

He heard the blue-haired man sigh and imagined him running a hand over his face the way he did whenever he was frustrated with something. "I dunno," he mumbled.

Ichigo wasn't satisfied with that answer. _Not at all_.

"You're lyin'," he whispered.

There was another pause before Grimmjow growled, his voice an irritated rumble, "I shouldna done it, but...I couldn' help myself."

"Grimmjow."

Ichigo meant to follow up with his next question, but his stomach heaved from all the binge drinking he'd done earlier, so he leaped from the swing, hurling up his toenails off to the side of the metal structure. The plastic seat swung back and forth violently as he clutched his phone to his chest. He could faintly hear Grimmjow calling his name repeatedly, but his head had detached from his body and was currently floating above the stratosphere. He sank to the ground, the grainy dirt clinging to his clothing and skin as he brought his phone back up to his ear.

"Ichigo! Whas goin' on? Where are ya?" Grimmjow asked, deep voice panicked.

Ichigo grinned and wiped a hand over his face, dirt (or was it really sand? It felt like sand.) spreading across his cheeks, "'Member that park we used to go to? I used to make you push me on the swings?" he asked, hoping his ex hadn't forgotten.

Pause. "Yeah," Grimmjow grunted. "I remember."

"I'm renem-remembering too," Ichigo sighed and rolled onto his side, his stomach calming down, but his head spinning like a merry-go-round.

"Ichigo...yer drunk?"

He giggled before a loud hiccup jumped from his chest, making him outright laugh, "Maybe."

There was another pause. _What was with Grimmjow and his pauses?_ "Where's yer boyfriend?" he asked and even though Ichigo was drunker than a sailor, he still heard the bitterness in his ex's voice.

Ichigo scoffed, "Not my boyfriend."

"So wha-"

"Come get me, Grimm."

"..."

"Please," Ichigo added, hoping Grimmjow would actually come.

"Ichigo, I don' think-"

"Not askin' you to think! I need to see you. Now."

This time there was a long pause and Ichigo thought Grimmjow had disconnected the call, until he heard, "I'll be there."

Ichigo grinned and lay flat on his back, his arms stretched out at his sides. He was still clutching his phone in his hand and wondering what Grimmjow was thinking. _He had meant to ask the man if he'd really cheated on him, or had he meant it when he'd said hadn't cheated?_

 _Fuck, he was confused_.

He'd been alone earlier that evening after getting off work and since it was the weekend, he'd decided to go out on his own. He hadn't been in the mood for any company and truth be told, even if he'd been able to contact Kaien, he didn't think he would have wanted to hang out with the man. Instead he'd gone to Zangetsu's, where the owner was a cool, shade-wearing, older man.

Ichigo had only meant to have a few drinks before going home, but Grimmjow had crossed his mind and his confusion had once again set in, making it hard for him to think straight. He'd ended up discussing the details with Zangetsu himself and before he knew it, he was leaving the modest establishment, unable to feel his own fucking toes. He'd made his way on autopilot towards the park he and Grimmjow used to frequent, his mind a whirling jumble of emotions.

 _There were so many questions he wanted to ask his blue-haired ex, but the alcohol, as well as his complex situation, prevented him from doing so_.

Ichigo lay in the sand, enjoying the warmth of the summer night as he waited for Grimmjow. _Would the man even bother to show up?_ He sighed and stared up at the twinkling stars and the bright, nearly fluorescent moon. _What would he do if Grimmjow did show up? What the hell would he say?_ Strangely, he didn't know and didn't really care. His main urge had been seeing the man.

_Wait._

_He knew what he would ask him_.

A crunching noise distracted him, making him squint over his over his head, his eyes crossing from the awkward position as the noise that turned out to be footsteps stopped. The light from the moon was momentarily blocked as Grimmjow leaned over and peered down into Ichigo's face. He felt his brown eyes crinkle in the corners as he grinned and regarded his ex.

"Ichigo, what the hell?" Grimmjow asked, bewilderment creasing his brows.

Grimmjow was wearing a sleeveless, white, stretchy-cotton hoodie with a pair of gray and white basketball shorts and white, high-top sneakers. There was no zipper and no buttons on the hoodie and the damned thing seemed to be painted onto the bigger man. Ichigo felt his mouth watering at the sight. He reached through his alcohol hazed mind and struggled to rein in his lust.

 _It was hard_.

Grimmjow smelled like Dove soap and Jergen's body lotion. He had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his shorts and his chest seemed like it was trying to rip through his hoodie. His hair was in that messy, unkempt style that Ichigo loved and his mouth was pressed into a thin line.

"Yer fucked up," Grimmjow stated exasperatedly as he squatted down beside Ichigo.

Ichigo nodded and touched the tip of his nose, "Yup."

"What're ya doin' in the park?"

"Reminisci-ming..." his voice trailed off as he scrunched his nose. _That hadn't come out right, but oh well_.

Grimmjow smirked a bit and Ichigo swooned, his head going light. He stared at his ex and Grimmjow stared right back at him, his electric blue eyes dark and stormy. Ichigo wondered what the man was thinking.

"What are you thinking about?"

 _Crikey, he had word diarrhea_.

Grimmjow scowled and glanced off to his right, "Why'd ya call me, Ichigo?" he asked.

Ichigo frowned and sat up after much effort, stuffing his cell phone into his shorts pocket in the process. His world was still tilted on its axis, but Grimmjow deserved an answer to his question and Ichigo would be damned if he didn't give it to him.

"Who else was I gonna call?" he ended up asking and even though it was pathetic, it was also true.

Grimmjow turned his gaze back in Ichigo's direction, studying him as if he didn't want to forget what he looked like, "Yer inna relationship, ain't ya?"

Ichigo arched a brow and his mouth turned down at the corners, "I thought I was. Maybe I'm not anymore," he suggested, giving Grimmjow a coy glance.

He could tell Grimmjow wanted to question him, but his pride wouldn't allow him to do so. _Good_. Ichigo had questions of his own that needed answering.

"Grimmjow, did you really cheat on me, or no?" his voice was low and uncertain, but he needed to know. _His sanity depended on it_.

Grimmjow looked away and ran a hand over his sharp, angular features, his brows drawn in concentration, "Ichigo-"

"Don't fuckin' lie to me!" Ichigo snapped, overcome by impatience and curiosity.

Grimmjow's brows jumped to his hairline as he stared at Ichigo in shock. He looked as if he knew what he wanted to say, but wasn't sure if he should. Ichigo pursed his lips and glared at the blue-haired man. _He wasn't letting him out of his sight until he was satisfied with the answers he received. Drunk or not, he needed the truth_.

"Well?"

Grimmjow narrowed his pretty blue eyes and lowered himself to the sand beside Ichigo. His lips were balled up and his jaw was stiff. _Was he finally going to spill the beans?_ After what seemed like a lifetime of waiting, Grimmjow finally spoke. "No. I didn' cheat on ya, Ichi," he muttered, unable to meet Ichigo's eyes.

Ichigo, on the other hand, was having a hard time dealing with the emotions suddenly residing in his throat at hearing his old nickname coming from the man. _He felt like he'd swallowed his tongue_. He peeked at Grimmjow through his orange bangs and scowled at what he saw. Grimmjow seemed to be telling the truth - not that he'd ever been a liar.

_What the fuck did that even mean?_

_If Grimmjow had never cheated on him, then that meant that what Szayel had been telling him had been true and he and Grimmjow had broken up virtually for nothing_. Ichigo stared at his sneakers, brow scrunched and mind fuzzy as he tried to understand what was going on. His eyes slid shut, unwilling to cooperate, but he forced them open. _He wanted – no he needed – to make sense of this situation_.

"I don't understand," he ended up muttering, fingering the leg of his shorts, a horrible taste in his mouth. _He really wished he had a toothbrush or a peppermint at the moment_.

Grimmjow sucked his teeth and plowed a hand through his unruly hair, "Ichi, I'm a bum," he muttered, still not meeting Ichigo's gaze. "I couldn' take care a'ya when I lost mah job an' that shit fucked wit' me. Ya need a guy that can take care a'ya."

Ichigo's frown deepened as he glared at Grimmjow. _He had loved him. He still loved him. He still wanted and needed him like a drowning man needed air and Grimmjow was telling him that he didn't deserve him?_

_What the fuck?_

"Stupid. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!" Ichigo ended with a scream, his voice shattering the stillness of the deserted park.

Grimmjow glanced at him, eyes wide and mouth open. Ichigo had a mind to jump to his feet in indignation, but his body just wasn't up to the task. Instead, he balled his hands into fists and tried not to plant them into the blue-haired man's face.

"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?" he shrieked, eyes afire.

Grimmjow scowled and glared right back, sapphire-blue eyes gleaming in the dark, "I was thinkin' ya deserved somebody better'n me!" he shouted, deep voice echoing in the night.

Ichigo dissolved into laughter, completely throwing Grimmjow off, "I loved you!" he gasped through his spastic chuckles. "I fuckin' loved you and you...you threw me away! You threw me away like I didn't even matter!"

His chest hurt and so did his head, but for the life of him, he couldn't stop fucking laughing. _All this time he'd thought Grimmjow had cheated on him, had mistreated him and the whole time, it had been a lie_. Ichigo stumbled to his feet, his laughter finally slowing as tears filled his eyes. Sand sifted into his clothes and stuck to his skin and hair, but he didn't care. He gripped his suddenly queasy stomach and tripped over his feet as he staggered away from his ex. _He needed to get out of there_.

A hand on his shoulder made him swing out blindly, his heart hiccuping in his chest as his eyes locked with shimmering blue. "Ichigo-"

"Don't fuckin' touch me!" Ichigo gasped, clutching the spot over his heart. His fingers twisted the material as his nose started running and burning, his eyes stinging from unshed tears. "W-why would you do that to me? To us? What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I wasn' thinkin'!" Grimmjow yelled, his voice cracking as he tried to get closer.

"I didn't care, Grimmjow! I knew you had lost your job, but...but I didn't care! I loved you!" Ichigo stressed, his own voice reaching higher with each exclamation.

His chest heaved and he blinked once, twice before his eyes shut and his shoulders shook uncontrollably as he covered his face with his hands. _It had to be the alcohol making him so overly emotional, but he seriously couldn't take the pain tearing his body in two_. Thickly corded arms wrapped around him and hugged him to a firm, broad chest, "Ichi. Ichi, I'm so sorry," Grimmjow murmured, his mouth pressed against Ichigo's hair and breath leaving him in quick gasps.

Ichigo honestly didn't know what to do. _He was angry – no, pissed – that Grimmjow had fooled him into believing he had been cheating, only to push him away, but...he also loved the man more than he loved himself_. His instincts led him to lean into his ex-lover, his arms unconsciously going around the thicker man as he deeply inhaled Grimmjow's nostalgic scent.

Suddenly, a loud trilling interrupted them, Ichigo blinking in surprise when he realized it was his phone making the offending noise. He reached behind him and pulled his phone free from his back pocket before connecting the call and answering, "Oi," he mumbled.

"Ichigo?"

Ichigo's eyes widened as he stood speechless. _Now?_ _Of all the times he had been trying to reach the man, he decided to call now? Kaien had to have the worst timing in the history of mankind_.

"Y-yeah," he stuttered, eyes lifting to meet Grimmjow's.

Grimmjow pursed his lips and stepped back, his arms leaving Ichigo's body as he must have recognized the voice on the other end. Ichigo didn't want to move, but what else could he do? _There were things he needed to talk to Kaien about as well, although he really didn't want to leave things the way they were between himself and the taller, blue-haired man_.

"Hey. Uh, what're you doin'?"

Ichigo scowled and turned his back to Grimmjow, rubbing his brow as he contemplated Kaien's question. _He didn't want to say "nothing" and insult his ex, but he also didn't want Kaien to think he was up to no good_. Deciding to be neutral, he shrugged, "I'm going home."

Ichigo tried not to pay attention to the sigh that emanated from behind him, but it was pretty hard to do. He turned and glanced at Grimmjow, the older man turning away from him with a small scowl furrowing his brows.

"Can I come over? I need to talk to you."

Ichigo felt his heart leap into his throat, but he managed not to panic. His head was still twirling like a ballerina and his stomach was still somersaulting enthusiastically, but he figured he could deal with Kaien before falling out for the night.

"I...give me a few minutes," Ichigo responded, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, ok."

Kaien disconnected the call and Ichigo stuffed his phone into his back pocket, afraid to turn and face his ex. _What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do?_ Luckily, Grimmjow snatched the reins and sighed.

"Ya need a ride?" he rumbled, still not meeting Ichigo's eyes.

Ichigo nodded, feeling bad for what reason, he wasn't sure, "Yeah. Thanks."

He followed behind Grimmjow out of the park and to the man's silver car parked at the curb. The ride to Ichigo's home was silent and completely uncomfortable. When they pulled up in front, Grimmjow didn't even put the car in park as he unlocked the doors and nodded in Ichigo's direction, his jaw tense and unmoving.

Not knowing quite what to say, Ichigo scrambled from the passenger seat and hurried to his door, only glancing back once to see Grimmjow peeling away, his eyes still glued to the road. _He felt bad for the whole interaction because he'd called the man, but he didn't know what to do in this situation_. He was fishing in his pockets for his house keys, when Kaien's hunter-green, Nissan Altima pulled up front.

He was still slightly drunk and wasn't too sure of how he would handle his confrontation with the raven-haired male, but it had to be better than what had just occurred with Grimmjow, right?


	5. Made a Fool of Me

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

_I remember when you filled my heart with joy_   
_Was I blind to the truth just there to fill the space?_   
_'Cause now you have no interest in anything I have to say_   
_And I have allowed you to make me feel dumb_   
_What kind of fool am I that you so easily set me aside_

_-Meshell Ndegeocello_

Onwards...

XOXOXO

_Fuck_.

_BAM!_

_Fuck! Fuck!_

_BAM! BAM!_

_FUCK!_

_BAM! BAM! BAM!_

_Why the fuck had he done that?_

_Why the fuck had he even gone?_

Grimmjow bared his teeth, so angry, he could barely stand to be inside his own skin. Sweat poured down the sides of his face and down his brow, running into his eyes, but he considered the consequential sting a well-deserved punishment. He clenched his hands into tight fists, the athletic tape and gauze wrapped around them making the motion take much more effort than it normally would. He was panting harshly, his bare chest heaving up and down as he took a step back.

His heart beat so fast and hard, it made his limbs shake. His gray and white basketball shorts were clinging to his sweat-drenched legs, making him itch for a shower to rid himself of the icky feeling, but he couldn't stop. Every time he managed to calm down, his stomach would lurch with unease and fury and he ended up abusing the heavy bag again.

He wiped the annoying perspiration from his eyes with the back of his wrist and tilted his head back afterward. _He was at such a fucking loss as far as the situation with Ichigo went_. When his ex had called him, he'd been sitting on the couch at home, flipping through the channels for something interesting to watch. Once he'd seen the readout and registered Ichigo's name, all he could do was sit and stare dumbly as the phone rang in his hand.

 _He'd been clueless_.

Why Ichigo was calling him had crossed his mind several times before he realized the phone had stopped ringing. Snapping out of his daze, he had hurried and called him back, hoping the call would be answered. The first call had been unanswered, but miraculously, Ichigo answered during the second.

The only reason Grimmjow could find for Ichigo calling him was because he was hurt and couldn't reach his boyfriend or something. He hadn't been expecting the red head to inquire about the kiss, since it had been a week since it had occurred.

 _Honestly, he'd thought the red head had forgotten_.

 _How wrong he'd been_.

Ichigo wasn't a big drinker, but he'd been toasted when he'd called. Grimmjow had argued with himself, knowing that going to see Ichigo was a bad idea, but he'd been afraid something would happen to him if left to his own devices, drunk and in the park at night. So, going against his better judgment, he'd gone to see the red head, hoping that Ichigo wouldn't bring up the whole kiss thing again.

 _He'd been wrong once more_.

 _Ichigo had not only brought it up, he'd poked it with a sharp stick_.

The look on the younger man's face had caused Grimmjow to cave and tell him the truth, which only pissed Ichigo off, sending him into a rage that he'd never witnessed before.

 _He was surprised Ichigo hadn't hit him_.

 _Then again, he had been drunk_.

Grimmjow collapsed onto a nearby weight bench, snatching up a bottle of water he'd stashed beside it on the floor. He popped the top and pulled deeply from it, his head cocked back and eyes shut. He had apologized to Ichigo and hugged him in a moment of weakness. _He hated seeing his ex in pain_. Those endlessly deep, brown eyes had been filled with too much turmoil and pain and it broke his heart to see.

Then, Ichigo's _boyfriend_ had called.

Grimmjow believed that was the reason he was seething and chomping at the bit. Ichigo had left him confused and wondering what the hell would happen between them now. _If he had followed his first instincts in the park, Ichigo would be with him right now, his dark-haired boyfriend be damned_. That wasn't to say that he'd changed his mind, but he just didn't want to force his ex into anything he wasn't ready for, not to mention, Ichigo had been too saucy to think straight, so any decision-making would have been tainted by inebriation.

"This is ridiculous," a haughty tenor spoke from his right.

Grimmjow opened his eyes and turned to the voice, registering his best friend staring at him with equal measures of exasperation and frustration. Szayel had on a pair of black, tear-away, warm up pants, a white t-shirt and black, running shoes. There was a light-blue towel draped over his left shoulder and a bottle of water in his right hand. His glasses were gone at the moment, leaving his honey-colored eyes exposed and sharper than a scalpel.

"The fuck're ya talkin' 'bout?" Grimmjow grumbled, leaning back on the bench and resting his weight on his elbows.

"I saw you trying to beat a hole into that punching bag, Grimmjow. It isn't healthy what you're going through."

Grimmjow sneered and shut his eyes again, his head lolling to the side, "Don' know whatcha mean."

Grimmjow heard Szayel's soft footsteps against the rubbery floor of the weight/training room at the local, twenty-four hour gym. Even with his eyes closed, he could tell that his pink-haired friend had taken a seat across from him on the vacant bench-press. _He also knew that Szayel was absolutely right, but what the fuck could he say about it? There was no way he was going to admit that the reason he'd been beating the heavy bag into a pulp was because he was all screwed in the head over his ex, whom he'd pushed away himself_. He snorted disgustedly.

 _He was fucking pathetic_.

He'd known he shouldn't have gone to see Ichigo and now he was paying the price: a hefty dose of confusion and perplexed frustration. Ichigo had told him that he wasn't seeing the dark-haired guy anymore, but as soon as the guy had called, he'd run off to meet him. _That had seared deeper than a third-degree burn_. Grimmjow thought they'd been on the verge of at least reconciling a friendship, but then they'd been cut off before anything could be completely resolved. So, here he sat, questioning himself, as well as his ex.

_Did Ichigo still want him?_

_If he judged by that kiss a week ago, he would have to say yes_.

But then, he might have ruined that by telling Ichigo the truth of why they'd broken up in the first place. Grimmjow hadn't expected the news to hurt the orange-haired man so badly, but it had. Ichigo had been more than pissed off, but he had the wrong idea. Grimmjow hadn't thrown him away. He'd done his best to preserve Ichigo's "goodness". _Ichigo didn't deserve to have a bum ass guy latched to him and dragging him under_.

 _But Ichigo had brought up a valid point_.

To his ex, it appeared as if Grimmjow didn't care. _As if he hadn't cared and in the process, spat in the face of his love_.

 _It wasn't true, but he couldn't deny seeing how Ichigo could draw that conclusion_.

 _Fuck_.

"What do you plan to do about this situation, Grimmjow?" Szayel continued, the soft pop of a cap echoing in the silent weight room.

He shrugged. _What could he do?_

 _Wait_...

_How much did Szayel know?_

"Ya seem awfully knowledgeable, Szayel," he murmured, covering his eyes with his hand. "I don' recall tellin' ya 'bout any a'mah problems."

"Do you think I'm blind?" Szayel's voice rose incredulously, anger clearly evident. "You can't honestly think I didn't see that little spectacle at King Pin!"

Grimmjow felt the blood drain from his face as he finally opened his eyes and lifted his hand away. _Szayel didn't mean he saw him and Ichigo kiss, did he?_ He sat up and gave his best friend his full attention, heart galloping like a racehorse.

"What exactly didja see?" he asked cautiously, his throat tight.

Szayel huffed and crossed his thin arms over his chest, his head turning to the side as he shut his eyes petulantly. "I saw everything!" he answered.

Grimmjow gulped and looked off to his left. _If Szayel saw him kiss Ichigo, it was no wonder he was having a titty attack_. "I didn' mean ta do it," Grimmjow mumbled, covering his face with his hands.

"I _highly_ doubt that."

Grimmjow lowered his hands and snarled, "I didn' mean ta kiss 'im," he enunciated carefully as he bore holes into his friend's face.

Szayel slowly turned his head back towards Grimmjow, his features slack with shock. Grimmjow scowled a bit as he studied the other man, wondering what could be making him look like that. _He had just said he'd seen everything, so why did he look so fucking surprised?_

Szayel's mouth fell open slightly, but he managed to catch himself as he calmly and purposely climbed to his feet. He took the scant three steps creating the gap between them and once he was standing right in front of Grimmjow, he brought his hand back and faster than Grimmjow could register the movement, slapped the back of his head with enough force to jar his teeth.

All he could do was stare.

 _If he'd been in his right frame of mind, he would have beaten his best friend worse than that heavy bag_.

_Had Szayel really hit him?_

"What the fuck?" he asked, disbelief coloring his tone.

"You are the stupidest, dumbest, most idiotic man I have ever met in my entire fucking life!" Szayel snapped, his elegant and normally controlled face flushed a deep crimson. "What in kami-sama's name were you _thinking_? _Were_ you even thinking?"

Grimmjow eased off the bench, raising himself to his full height, which stood a towering six inches over the pink-haired man. That didn't seem to matter to Szayel, who was still in the process of fuming and shaming a tomato with his hue.

"Ya hit me again, an' I'll kick yer ass, Szayel," Grimmjow uttered threateningly, meaning every word that passed his lips.

"I don't care, you moronic buffoon! You probably ruined everything I set in motion!" the other man argued and Grimmjow frowned.

_Huh?_

"What the fuck're ya talkin' 'bout, now?" he quizzed.

"At King Pin, I told Ichigo the truth and now, you've probably messed up everything!"

His brow twitched and a vein along his temple throbbed.

_He'd done WHAT?_

Grimmjow didn't even realize he'd moved, until he had his best friend slammed against the mirrored wall of the weight room, his lips pulled back into a fearsome snarl as he fisted the neck of Szayel's t-shirt. "Y-ya had no right! _No right_!" he seethed.

"He deserved to know, Grimmjow! Stop being a fucking coward and fix things-"

Grimmjow pulled his hand away and smashed his fist into Szayel's face, the smaller man's bottom lip splitting on impact. Szayel's head snapped back and cracked against the mirror, but not enough to cause any substantial damage. Mustard-colored eyes that had been screwed shut during the hit, slowly rolled open and latched onto Grimmjow's face.

"You still love him," Szayel deadpanned, "and he still loves you."

Grimmjow's eyes went saucer wide and he eventually released his hold on his best friend. Szayel sagged against the mirrored wall and straightened his t-shirt before lifting a hand to touch his bleeding lip. He threw eye daggers at Grimmjow as he slunk over to where his towel and bottle of water rested. He picked up the water, dampened his towel and held it to his lip that was slowly swelling.

Grimmjow didn't know what to do or say.

He was furious that Szayel had over-stepped his bounds, but at the same time knew the man was right. _Ichigo did deserve to know the truth, but at what cost?_ Grimmjow didn't see any hope in their future after the way Ichigo had reacted in the park.

Grimmjow watched the pink-haired man gathering his things, guilt washing over him like a tidal wave. Once Szayel had all of his belongings together, he trudged to the door of the weight room, glancing over his shoulder before he exited, "I really thought you had more balls than this. Perhaps, I was wrong," he stated, then disappeared into the hallway.

Grimmjow collapsed onto the bench he'd been occupying earlier and covered his face with his hands.

_Was he truly being a coward?_

XOXOXO

Ichigo doubled back from the front door to his home to greet Kaien. The dark-haired man emerged from his hunter-green, Nissan Altima and slowly strolled over, his hands shoved into the pockets of a pair of turquoise board shorts. He also wore a form-fitting, black t-shirt and black, low-top Vans. His onyx colored hair stuck up on his head as if he hadn't bothered with a comb or brush that day and his aqua-gray eyes seemed exhausted. They met up at Ichigo's front gate, Kaien having a hard time making eye contact as he rubbed the back of his head.

Ichigo didn't want to seem rude, but he needed to take care of some business before they began talking. "I'll be back. I need to go inside for a minute," he said and without waiting for the other man's reply, turned on his heel and headed into his house.

He took the stairs three at a time, his heart racing in his chest as he tried to contemplate what Kaien could possibly have to talk to him about at this hour. _And why hadn't the man been answering his phone all day? Come to think of it, why had he been behaving so strangely to begin with? Ever since that night at King Pin, he'd been_... _different_. _If Kaien had seen him kissing Grimmjow, he hadn't bothered to mention it_.

 _He kind of hoped Kaien had seen them_. _It would make telling him that much easier_.

Once he reached the top of the stairs, he went into the bathroom, brushed his teeth, then headed into his bedroom to change his shirt. He didn't think he'd gotten any upchuck on it, but he'd rather be safe than sorry. A fresh, purple t-shirt donned, he skipped down the stairs, adrenaline pushing away the cobwebs of his intoxication.

The house was silent as a tomb as he made his way to the door, meaning his sisters and idiot old man had to be sleeping. _That meant he couldn't argue too loudly with Kaien_. Ichigo shrugged and opened the door, not surprised to see Kaien seated on the top step of the stoop. The raven-haired man glanced up, his eyes haunted and his mouth drawn down into a frown. Ichigo felt dread descend like a stone in his gut as he shut the door and continued to observe Kaien's countenace.

_What the hell could be wrong?_

He lowered himself beside the other man and unconsciously held his breath as he waited for the conversation to commence. His chest was tight and he realized that he was actually nervous. _No matter how bad things had gotten between him and Kaien, he still liked the guy_. _That much was obvious_.

After what seemed like an eternity, Kaien finally spoke, "Ichigo, I gotta tell you something," he stated, his normally confident tenor cracking.

"Yeah, you said that part already," Ichigo retorted, his nerves causing him to sound cold and unconcerned, when he was anything but.

Kaien glanced at him from the corner of his eye, then ran a shaky hand through his dark, spiky locks. "I know you've noticed that I've been kinda distant lately," he started, to which Ichigo snorted. _Nervous or not, he couldn't deny the absurdity of that statement_. Kaien winced, but forged forward, "Um, well, you see..." his voice trailed off as he scrubbed a hand over his face in agitation. He lowered the hand and picked up where he left off. "...My ex-girlfriend is pregnant."

Ichigo knew his eyes were probably the size of silver dollars, but he really couldn't help it. _Whatever he'd been expecting, it hadn't been that_.

"I-is it yours?" he decided to ask.

Kaien nodded slowly and turned to face him full-on. "Yeah. At least, I think so. When we were together, she told me she was on birth control and like an idiot, I believed her. I mean, I had known she wanted kids and all, but I wasn't ready for that step. I certainly didn't think she would do something as drastic as that," he rambled.

Ichigo felt like all the blood in his body was currently rushing to his head. There was a great roaring noise and his sinuses felt all tingly, like he had to sneeze or something. He rubbed his nose, wondering what this was supposed to mean. _Was Kaien breaking up with him?_

"Well, this was before...before us, right?" he asked, his voice wobbling embarrassingly.

Kaien didn't pick up on his uncertainty, "Oh, yeah. But she knows about us and now that she's pregnant, she wants me back. She wants me to leave you," he stated, his voice turning somber.

 _He knew it_. _He knew Kaien was trying to break things off_.

Ichigo scoffed and climbed to his feet, the sudden motion causing him to go light-headed. Kaien followed him with his eyes as Ichigo dusted off his shorts. "Well, you don't have to let me down easily. I understand," Ichigo muttered a tad bitterly.

 _It was always hard being dumped, no matter how short the relationship. The rejection did something to a person's pride_.

Kaien leaped to his feet, his arms outstretched and his aqua-gray eyes wild and round, "Wh-wha? Wait! What are you talking about? I don't wanna break up with you, Ichigo!" he exclaimed. "I just thought you should know about what's going on. I don't want you to think I'm a liar and hiding shit from you!"

Ichigo stood rooted to the spot like a big Ichigo tree. His mouth had fallen open as he stared at Kaien in pure shock. He was speechless and unsure of what to do next. He liked Kaien, he really did, but he still had an unresolved issue with his ex.

 _With Grimmjow_.

Kaien used Ichigo's moment of astonishment to ease his arms around his waist and pull him closer. "I like you, Ichigo. Me and Rukia are over, I swear; it's you I want."

Ichigo lowered his head, his thoughts running together and forming one, huge mass of confusion. He placed a hand against Kaien's chest to keep some distance between them as he tried to figure out what he was going to do.

On one hand, he had Kaien, his new boyfriend. The man was funny, kind, handsome and as far as he knew, he'd never lied to him.

Then, on the other hand, he had his ex, Grimmjow. Grimmjow was everything he ever wanted in a man; he was just as funny (if not more so) as Kaien, he could be just as kind and he was definitely handsome. Ichigo loved him.

 _But_...

 _Grimmjow had lied to him. Pushed him away. Mistreated him, when there had been no cause for it at all_.

Ichigo didn't think he could trust the man ever again.

He peered up into Kaien's odd-colored eyes and allowed a slow smile to bloom. "You sure this is what you want?" he asked, the fingers on Kaien's chest curling into a fist as he clutched the man's t-shirt.

Kaien grinned and closed the gap between their bodies, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure," he murmured, his head lowering and lips edging closer.

Ichigo smirked and leaned up to meet the man in a gentle, but somewhat heated kiss.

 _He would worry about Grimmjow later_.

XOXOXO

Grimmjow sat in his car, hands gripping the steering wheel and knees bouncing up and down.

 _Kami, you would think he was eighteen again with the way he was behaving_.

He glanced out of the window and peered up at the two-storied home, his heart thrashing wildly in his chest. He saw the light on in the bedroom, so he knew Ichigo was home. Whether the man would want to see him was a different can of beans entirely.

Grimmjow had been thinking a lot about what Szayel had said to him and he was convinced that he wasn't a fucking coward. _Now, all he had to do was prove it_. Another glance at the house and a deep breath later, he was shucking out of his car and heading up to his ex's stoop. He hadn't called ahead of time because if he had, Ichigo definitely wouldn't have seen him.

 _No_.

 _He had to ambush the orange-haired man, sadly_.

Grimmjow rang the bell and at the sound of its chime, along with a bunch of shuffling and shouting, he remembered that Ichigo's father was insane. He took a couple steps back from the stoop, just as the door swung open revealing a dark-haired, older man with his leg raised and poised to kick.

"Aha! I see you've been here before!" the man cried.

Grimmjow couldn't stifle his grin, but nodded anyway. "C'mon, old man, ya fergot about me already?" he teased. _He had always gotten along really well with Ichigo's father_.

The other man stepped back, allowing Grimmjow inside and as he shut the door, he squinted up at him as if trying to figure out why he seemed so familiar. Finally, those dark eyes lit up and he bared a huge smile, "OHH! Grimm-kun!" he shouted.

Grimmjow winced at the volume and nodded again. "Yep."

The noise must have attracted the younger members of the household because Ichigo's twin sisters emerged from the kitchen. Yuzu had her wheat-brown hair down, the left side tucked behind her ear and fastened in place by a red clip. She wore a yellow sundress and was wiping her hands on a red dish towel. Karin stood beside her, her dark hair also down, but more shaggy in appearance. She had on a black and white t-shirt, blue, denim shorts and her mouth had fallen open, the manga in her hand hanging slack at her side.

"G-Grimmjow?" she breathed incredulously, her ebony eyes wide.

Grimmjow nodded and glanced behind them, "Where's yer brother?" he asked, still hoping to catch Ichigo off-guard.

Yuzu still hadn't said anything, but Karin pointed up the stairs. "Are ya here ta talk some sense inta Ichi-nii?" she asked, her brows furrowing.

Again, he grinned and nodded. "I'm hopin' ta."

Isshin scampered over to the foot of the stairs and opened his mouth to holler up to Ichigo, but Karin scaled his back like Spiderman and threw a small hand over the elder Kurosaki's mouth, "Shutup, Goat Chin!" she hissed.

She glanced back at Grimmjow and indicated the stairs with her head, "Go, before Goat Chin ruins everything!"

Grimmjow chuckled, but followed her advice and stepped past them, slowly climbing the wooden stairs that creaked slightly underfoot. At the top of them, he paused and stared at Ichigo's closed bedroom door. Butterflies filled his gut, but he'd come this far and he'd be damned if he backed out now. He looked over his shoulder and gave the three figures huddled at the bottom of the stairs a thumbs-up before turning and standing before Ichigo's room.

He knocked on the door softly and waited. There was silence at first and Grimmjow thought that Ichigo had fallen asleep with the light on. _He'd had a habit of doing that sometimes_. Then, there was some shuffling and the door was pulled open.

"Yuzu, I already told you, I'm not hun-" Ichigo's words died in his throat as he realized he wasn't talking to Yuzu. "G-Grimm-jow," he breathed.

"Yo. We gotta talk," Grimmjow responded, nudging the door open, stepping around it and softly shutting it behind him.


	6. We Can't Be Friends

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

_To just act like we never were_   
_To come around and not show hurt_   
_How dare we greet by shaking hands_   
_Just months ago I was your man (was your man)_

_Verbally we'd agreed it was over_   
_And we were through_

_I'm trying to compose myself but I just_   
_Can't get over you_

_-Deborah Cox, RL_

Onwards...

XOXOXO

Grimmjow leaned against the closed bedroom door and stared down at his ex.

 _Ichigo_.

Those gooey brown eyes were wide and surprised, that full mouth hanging slightly open. Ichigo had on a form-fitting, white t-shirt and navy blue boxers and his bright orange hair was sticking up on the left side, flattened on the right. Grimmjow felt his heart skip nervously, but he tamped down his anxiety and pushed away from the door, edging closer to the smaller man.

Ichigo backed up a step as if he were afraid and considered Grimmjow an escaped rapist. Grimmjow frowned and stopped moving, weighing his options. He hadn't gone there to scare Ichigo, so he remained where he was, his hands hanging non-threateningly at his sides. Grimmjow glanced around the room and noted the rumpled, western-styled, full-sized bed, the wooden desk, the opened window over the bed and the lamp resting on the desk.

 _Thankfully, Ichigo was alone_.

"Grimmjow, what are you doing here?" Ichigo asked, pulling his attention back to the other man.

He gazed at his frightened-looking ex and shrugged, his hands turned palm-side up. "I need ta talk ta ya."

Ichigo scowled, his eyes darting to the bedroom door as if he were searching for the best route of escape. "There's really nothing for us to talk about. I-I've decided to see Kaien officially. We're dating now," he stuttered, his sienna eyes rooted to the floor.

Grimmjow felt his back involuntarily stiffen as he glared at the orange-haired man. "I can't accept that," he growled, not willing to just give up on his purpose for being there.

Besides, he still wanted Ichigo; that much was obvious from the way he couldn't stop thinking about him, couldn't stop his feelings for him. He also knew that Ichigo still wanted him too. If he didn't, Grimmjow wouldn't have been the first one to come to mind when he'd been drunk and confused in the park. Plus, to top it all off, Grimmjow wasn't a coward and he wasn't going to sit back and let someone else have the man he loved.

 _He'd made the mistake of pushing Ichigo away once and he wasn't about to dismiss his chance at getting him back_.

Ichigo gave him a look that conveyed his confusion, so Grimmjow decided to spell it out for him, tossing caution to the wind. He stepped closer to Ichigo, until the shorter man was backed up to the edge of his bed, eyeing him warily, their chests mere inches apart. Ichigo's eyes alternated between his mouth and his eyes and Grimmjow couldn't prevent the swell of hope that settled in his chest. "Ichigo, I know I messed up, but I can't sit back and pretend like I don' still love ya, when I do. I wantcha back," he murmured, bringing his hands up to cradle Ichigo's shoulders.

Those ginger snap eyes widened as Ichigo stared up at him in disbelief. Grimmjow felt his jaw twitch as he waited for a response from his ex. _He wished Ichigo would say or do SOMETHING; this silence was driving him insane and the suspense was killing him_. At long last, Ichigo's shoulders slumped as his eyes went to the floor and his arms came up to dislodge Grimmjow's hands.

"You wait until I'm seeing someone else to tell me this," he whispered, eyes still riveted to the floor.

Grimmjow's chest constricted and his throat felt like it was closing up. He didn't like the ominous feeling behind Ichigo's statement and actions. "Ich-" he started, but Ichigo cut him off, his eyes finally leaving the floor to lock with Grimmjow's.

"You can't just do this," he said quietly, copper eyes lit with an inner fire. "You can't just play with me anyway you like. I'm not a toy, Grimmjow. You can't-you can't do this to me," his voice trailed off and Grimmjow tried to put his arms around him. Ichigo pushed his arms away and glared at him. "This isn't fair."

Grimmjow clenched his teeth together until it felt like anymore added pressure and they would crack. He whirled away from Ichigo, running a hand over his face and through his hair as he paced back and forth in front of Ichigo's desk. "Fuck," he cursed under his breath, not sure what to do, or how to proceed.

He was angry, insecure and jealous, all at the same time. This guy was taking Ichigo away from him and Ichigo was allowing it to happen. Grimmjow didn't want to face the fact that this situation was entirely his fault; he didn't want to face his epic failure.

 _Denial was the name of this game_.

As he started his fifth pass before Ichigo's desk, something out of his peripheral snagged his attention. He glanced over at the messy, paper-strewn desk and paused his pacing. A slow grin creased his face as he reached for the rectangular photo sticking out of a gray, hard-covered book. After studying the picture for a few seconds, he turned back to face Ichigo, sardonic smirk still tilting the corners of his mouth.

"Ichigo," he said quietly. Ichigo looked at him, butterscotch brown eyes defiant. "Ya sure ya wanna stay with this guy yer with?" Ichigo scowled, but nodded slowly. Grimmjow nodded in return, pressed his lips together, unimpressed with Ichigo's response and strolled over to the orange-haired man. Once he was as close as he could get without touching Ichigo, Grimmjow held up the photo that had obviously been ripped, but then taped back together. "Ya positive?" he murmured, locking eyes with his ex.

Ichigo gulped, Grimmjow tracking the movement of the shorter man's Adam's apple as he watched Ichigo inwardly panic. _He'd known that Ichigo still wanted him and now he was holding even more evidence to that fact in his hand_. Ichigo tilted his head back to look Grimmjow directly in the eyes and the silence stretched on, tension nearly palpable as they considered one another. When Ichigo lowered his gaze to Grimmjow's mouth, he twitched, itching to pull Ichigo close and kiss him into submission, but decided against it, certain that it would be the surest way to push the shorter man away.

Ichigo locked eyes with him again and pressed his full lips into a thin line, turmoil clearly evident in his beautiful eyes. Grimmjow was at the end of his patience rope, gnawing at the bit, hoping that Ichigo would crack and allow him entrance into his heart again. Then Ichigo leaned forward a fraction, making Grimmjow's heart leap into his mouth as he too slowly leaned forward, but before anything else could happen, a loud trilling interrupted them.

They both blinked stupidly at each other, obviously caught up in the moment and not all the way aware of the cause for the sudden disruption. Ichigo managed to come to his senses first, shaking his head slightly and glancing around the room. His eyes landed on his cell phone, buzzing and ringing noisily from his desk. Grimmjow followed his line of sight and growled when Ichigo started towards it. Grimmjow had a bad feeling he knew just who was on the other end of that phone.

He stalked over to the desk before Ichigo could make it there and grasped the small device in his hand. He shot a look at the readout and sucked his teeth at the name "Kaien". Before Ichigo had a chance to even comment, Grimmjow went to the closet and tossed the phone inside, shutting the door on the clamorous contraption.

He turned back to his ex to find him sputtering indignantly, his tanned face crimson with fury. "Wh-what the fuck is your problem, asshole?" Ichigo shouted.

Grimmjow frowned and stared at him, wondering why Ichigo didn't see why he had done what he had. _If he hadn't have chucked Ichigo's phone in the closet, Ichigo would have answered it and tried to brush aside the talk they still needed to have_. Grimmjow wasn't having it. "I ain't gotta problem, Ichigo," he snarled in response. "I just ain't done talkin' ta ya yet."

Ichigo shook his head and ran a hand over his face. "I told you already: we have nothing to talk ab-"

"I ain't believin' that shit when ya got mah fuckin' picture in yer favorite book!" Grimmjow shouted, at his wits' end with the stubborn man.

Ichigo's mouth snapped shut as he stared at him. Grimmjow wasn't sure what was going through the younger man's head, but he sure as hell wasn't backing down from this. _He knew Ichigo wanted him; he knew it like he knew his own dick and Ichigo wasn't about to keep avoiding it_.

"Get out," Ichigo said softly, his eyes hard and cold, glittering like polished stones.

Grimmjow frowned angrily, not believing what he was hearing. "What?" he asked dumbly.

"I said 'get out'," Ichigo reiterated. "Now. You can't just come here and expect everything to be fine! I'm seeing Kaien!"

Grimmjow sneered and closed in on the other man, making those nut-brown eyes widen uncertainly. Ichigo opened his mouth to continue speaking, but Grimmjow silenced him with a well-placed kiss. He pulled Ichigo to him by his slim hips and pressed him to his chest, sweeping his tongue across Ichigo's soft, bottom lip. Ichigo gasped, sighed and fought, in that order. He pushed against Grimmjow's firm chest, trying to end the kiss.

Finally, Grimmjow was pushed away with enough force, leaving him staring down at Ichigo in confusion. _Ichigo wanted him; he wanted Ichigo_. _He didn't understand the problem_. Ichigo glared up at him, but Grimmjow was unsusceptible to the threatening look being sent his way as he pulled Ichigo in again and kissed him more aggressively. This time he pried his ex's mouth open and attacked the depths of his heated cavern with much vigor and intensity. Ichigo groaned deeply and allowed his tongue to join the heated, oral foreplay, his arms coming up to encircle Grimmjow's neck, his hands plowing into Grimmjow's hair.

A slow burn coiled in Grimmjow's gut as he angled his head to the side, massaging the shorter man's tongue with his own, his hands playing along Ichigo's sides. _Kami, the noises Ichigo was making_. Grimmjow never wanted to stop hearing those soft moans and low growls; as a matter of fact, he wanted to make Ichigo holler like a man being slain.

Grimmjow pulled back just enough to tug Ichigo's heavenly bottom lip between his teeth, making Ichigo pant gently as his hands fisted in Grimmjow's hair. _This was what he wanted; this was what he craved on a daily basis and he'd be damned if he wouldn't make Ichigo see it_. _They were meant to be together_. Grimmjow would never let his ex go again; he'd learned his fucking lesson and didn't plan to make the same mistake twice.

 _Love didn't come easily for anyone_.

Grimmjow drove his tongue back into Ichigo's mouth, humming when the shorter man pressed their bodies closer, their mid-sections aligning like trains to their tracks. Grimmjow felt light-headed with desire, his lust rising within him like an elevator going up. Ichigo was practically putty in his hands, mewling and grinding his lower half against Grimmjow's thighs. Grimmjow was quickly losing his composure as he began backing the orange-haired man onto the bed. Ichigo lowered himself, pulling Grimmjow by the shirt collar to settle over him.

Grimmjow kneed Ichigo's legs apart and groaned breathlessly as he settled between those toned limbs of perfection, muscles bunching and relaxing as Ichigo wrapped them around his waist. Grimmjow felt the unmistakable impression of Ichigo's erection poking him in his hip as he ground the smaller man into the soft mattress.

 _Kami, that turned him the fuck on_.

Grimmjow growled low in his chest as his mouth left Ichigo's, only to travel across the other man's sharp jaw and under his pointed chin. Grimmjow rested one hand along the waistband of Ichigo's flimsy, navy blue boxers, tempted to just rip the shorts from that gorgeous body and make Ichigo hit perilous high notes. Instead, he lowered his mouth to Ichigo's pulse and nuzzled, then suckled, the soft pressure steadily increasing.

Suddenly, the trilling from the closet started up again and Ichigo gasped, his hands going to Grimmjow's shoulders as he tried to push him away. Grimmjow growled in objection, totally against the idea of moving from where he was, but Ichigo thrashed against him, his knee going dangerously close to Grimmjow's treasure chest.

He backed up enough to give Ichigo room to look at him and in turn, did his own share of looking, confused and put off. "I-I c-can't do this with y-you, Grimmjow," Ichigo panted, his lips kiss-swollen and pink, glistening with moisture.

Grimmjow frowned. "What're ya talkin' 'bout?" he questioned. Using a free hand, he reached down and boldly wrapped it around Ichigo's hardened shaft, the soft cotton keeping him from really getting the handful he wanted. "Ya want me, Ichi. Why ya fightin' it?"

Ichigo tried to stifle a moan, but didn't really succeed and Grimmjow used the advantage, squeezing the rigid length in his hand. Ichigo gasped. "Unngh," he whimpered. "S-stop. Gr-Grimmjow, stop. I can't do this," he choked.

Grimmjow buried his face in Ichigo's long, corded neck and laved his pulse. "I love you," he murmured, heart hammering and chest caving in on him.

 _He couldn't lose Ichigo again after coming this far_.

Ichigo grew silent, but after a few seconds, Grimmjow took notice of the gently shaking shoulders and heaving chest. He pulled away from Ichigo's neck and grimaced at what he saw. Large tears ran unchecked down the sides of his ex's face and it killed him; absolutely drove a knife through his heart. Grimmjow sighed and sat up, averting his gaze. _He hadn't meant to make Ichigo cry again_. _He hadn't meant to hurt him again_. _He just wanted him back_.

 _He loved him_.

"I'm sorry, Ichigo," he muttered, running a hand over his face and through his hair. "I'll leave ya alone, if that's whatcha really want."

Grimmjow stood shakily, his head pounding furiously as he tried to keep his emotions in check. Ichigo wasn't his anymore and the pain was throwing a veil over his heart, making it impossible to think straight as he fixed his clothes and dragged himself to the door. Before he could make it there, Ichigo must have followed behind him because his hand was wrapped around Grimmjow's wrist like a steel handcuff. Grimmjow turned to face him, staring down into those haunted, cocoa eyes.

"I don't want us to end like this," Ichigo whispered, lowering his eyes to the floor. "I-I...I still love you, but I can't be with you. I can't do that to Kaien."

Grimmjow looked away, grinding his teeth in agitation and wanting desperately to run his hand over his face again. "Yeah," he grumbled, agreeing because he just wanted to get the fuck out of there as soon as possible.

Ichigo squeezed his wrist, but his eyes remained on the floor. "We can be friends," he suggested and Grimmjow felt the knife in his heart twist dramatically.

 _Damn_. _The dreaded friends offer_.

Grimmjow pursed his lips, afraid to look at Ichigo because if he did, he knew it would unravel him and he was trying his hardest to at least keep some semblance of control. _He didn't want to be friends with Ichigo_ ; _hell, he wasn't even sure he COULD be friends with him_.

 _But_... _did he have any other choice?_

Ichigo was only offering friendship and it was painfully obvious that he was more interested in this Kaien guy than he was interested in getting back with Grimmjow. Grimmjow cringed and felt his nose stinging. _He had never coped well with rejection, but rejection from Ichigo was a million times more potent_. He couldn't resist the urge anymore and used his free hand to run over his face, trying to mask the agony written all over it.

"Ya sure?" Grimmjow croaked, eyes on the bedroom door.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I don't wanna argue with you anymore, Grimmjow. We all make mistakes, but we also have to live with the consequences of those mistakes. Kaien doesn't deserve to be shoved to the side and I don't want to do it. I like him," Ichigo said softly.

Grimmjow worked his mouth back and forth, forcing his anger to the pit of his stomach, where it could fester and burn all it wanted. _He couldn't deal with it out in the open just yet_. He nodded and tried to pry his wrist free from Ichigo's iron grip. When Ichigo wouldn't let go, he chanced a glance in his direction and frowned, baffled at what he saw.

"The fuck ya still cryin' for? Yer getting' whatcha want, ain't ya?" he groused.

Ichigo's eyes were filled and shining with unshed tears as he stared up at Grimmjow. "I really do still l-love you," he said quietly.

Grimmjow smirked and looked away, shaking his head slightly. When he turned back to his ex, his gaze was urgent, as was his voice. "Then be wit' me, Ichi."

Ichigo closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. "I can't. Kai-"

"Fuck him! I had you first," Grimmjow snarled, a bit of that boiling anger surging through his barriers.

Ichigo's eyes turned stony as he glared up at Grimmjow. "Yeah and you threw me away," he stated, deep voice dropping into the charged atmosphere like a cinderblock in a pond.

Grimmjow balled up his lips and glared back, speechless. _How was he supposed to respond to that?_ Essentially, Ichigo was right and there was absolutely nothing Grimmjow could do to change the past. He felt his upper lip curling back in disgust with himself as he snatched his wrist free from Ichigo's grip. "Whatever," he grumbled petulantly as he stormed to the door and flung it open, anxious to get out of the other man's sight.

He heard Ichigo suck his teeth and sigh before Grimmjow slammed the door shut and barreled down the stairs, almost knocking Karin over in his hurry to leave. The small, dark-haired girl stared up at him curiously.

"Are you OK, Grimm?" she asked, her normally aggressive voice softened with concern.

Grimmjow blinked and came to his senses, but only briefly as he nodded and brushed past the younger girl. He felt around in his pocket for his car keys as he headed to the front door, eager to get out of the stifling environment.

 _He had a date with the gym and a heavy bag_.

XOXOXO

**Three Weeks Later**

Ichigo sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at his cell phone. He was angry, confused and more than a little frustrated. He'd been trying to get in contact with Kaien for the past half hour, but all he'd been getting was the man's voice mail. He glanced over at the digital clock on his desk, the bright green numbers reading 7:15 pm. Ichigo sucked his teeth.

 _This was getting ridiculous_.

Kaien had sent him a text earlier that morning, telling him he was coming over at six that evening. Yet, here it was almost seven-thirty and the man still hadn't arrived. Not only that, but he wasn't answering his cell phone either. Ichigo growled and tossed his phone onto his bed, stomach clenching with apprehension.

This had been going on for the past few days. Ichigo would call Kaien, only to get no answer and then the man would call him back hours after the fact, apologizing and giving lame excuses. Ichigo had been burned once by lies and he wasn't up for more. _Especially not after that heart-breaking episode with Grimmjow a few weeks ago_.

Ichigo's chest constricted at the thought. Even though he and the blue-haired man had come to some sort of agreement, where they could co-exist as just friends, Ichigo still remembered the heated and passionate moment they'd shared right there in his bedroom. _That had been before the friends thing; before Grimmjow had called him and asked him to hang out as if nothing had happened at all_.

Ichigo recalled Grimmjow's lips on his, the feel of Grimmjow's expert tongue and hands and the way Grimmjow had told him he loved him; that he wanted him back. It tore Ichigo apart having to deny the man he loved, but Kaien had done nothing wrong yet. In fact, Kaien had been the model boyfriend, coming by to see him, taking him out, sending him strange, but gooey text messages and even having dinner with his family.

That hadn't gone over very well with Karin, but his old man and Yuzu had been overly friendly and borderline creepy with their generosity. Ichigo had tried to gloss over the fact that Karin had eyed Kaien with much distaste the entire time before finally jumping from her seat and excusing herself. Ichigo had been disappointed, but there was nothing he could have done to change the situation. At least, not to Karin's standards. _She wouldn't be happy unless he was back with Grimmjow_.

 _Grimmjow_.

Ichigo still couldn't believe he'd had the nerve and will to resist his ex the way he had. In all reality, he'd wanted desperately to lay there on his bed, spread wide like an open book as Grimmjow took him to another universe, possibly making him speak another language. However, he'd fought him. He'd fought the man he wanted more than anything in this world because he wasn't dishonorable and he'd already started an official relationship with Kaien.

 _Fuck, had it been hard, though_.

A week after the incident in his bedroom, Ichigo had been astonished to receive a call from Grimmjow. His surprise had ratcheted up a few more notches when Grimmjow spoke to him as if nothing had happened; as if Grimmjow hadn't nearly rendered Ichigo's heart asunder. Grimmjow had cordially asked Ichigo how he was doing and if he wasn't busy, if he'd like to go out for some food. After thinking about it for a minute, Ichigo had tossed caution to the wind and accepted the invitation, eager to get out of the house and anxious to see Grimmjow again.

They'd met up at a popular restaurant that served mainly American dishes like barbecued ribs, hot wings and cheeseburgers. Grimmjow had already found them a seat and was working on a beer when Ichigo had arrived. He'd expected things to be awkward, expected their conversation to dwindle and eventually die out, but Grimmjow had surprised him again, behaving as if they had been friends their entire lives.

Ichigo had had a good time and had been looking forward to their next meeting. The next time, Grimmjow had called and asked him if he'd wanted to go to a festival in Osaka. Ichigo had agreed without hesitation and again, he'd had the time of his life. Now, he was eager to see where they would go next. It felt good being able to be friends with Grimmjow. _No animosity, no bitterness, just two guys sharing a good time_.

Ichigo smiled and rose from the bed, ambling over to his messy desk. He grabbed his favorite book and gingerly withdrew the photo hidden inside it, his face tingling with warmth at remembering Grimmjow's discovery of said photo. There had been nothing that Ichigo could have said to dissuade the man after he'd gotten hold of it, so he'd gone with the silent route, hoping Grimmjow would just let it go.

 _He hadn't_.

Ichigo sighed and stared down at Grimmjow's smirking face, his features sort of blurred by the clear scotch tape. He wished things could be different between him and Grimmjow. He really meant it when he'd told the man he still loved him, but he just couldn't be with him. _Things had become far too complicated, far too complex_. Kaien being added into the equation had knocked them both off balance, but Ichigo had regained his footing faster.

A knock at his door made him jerk in surprise. He glanced at the door and hurriedly shoved the picture back into its resting place inside his favorite book before going to open it. When he did, his brow furrowed and his muscles immediately tightened with tension. Kaien stood on the other side of the door wearing a wide, carefree grin, his aqua-gray eyes shining with mischief.

Normally, Ichigo would have been intrigued and drawn to that devilish smile, but now he was merely pissed at being held up. "What the fuck took you so long?" he snapped, in no mood for niceties.

Kaien's smile quickly faded and was replaced with a look of shock and some annoyance. "Damn, that's how you greet your boyfriend, Ichigo?" he asked, his tone feigning hurt.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and stepped away from the door, allowing the taller man entrance. "My boyfriend should have been here an hour and a half ago," he responded.

Kaien stepped into the room and waited for Ichigo to close the door before closing the gap between their bodies and wrapping his arms around Ichigo's waist. "C'mon. You know ya missed me," he cooed.

Ichigo stared up into those oddly-colored eyes and shook his head, exasperated. Nevertheless, he reached up and locked his arms around the man's neck, inwardly angry with himself for giving in so easily to Kaien's charms. "Maybe a little," he murmured and kissed the man's bottom lip.

Kaien's grin widened as he eagerly pressed into Ichigo, slanting his mouth over his as his tongue peeked from behind his teeth. He pried open Ichigo's mouth and plundered it aggressively, his tongue snaking in and around it. Kaien smelled strange and he tasted even stranger; like some foreign lotion and body spray.

Ichigo pulled back, studying his boyfriend's face curiously. Kaien tilted his head to the side and regarded him as well, both taking the time to carefully search each other out. Kaien spoke first. "What's wrong, Ichigo?" he asked, his thumbs rubbing small circles into the skin of his hips.

Ichigo shrugged, his slow perusal traveling over Kaien's cheekbones, over his strong jaw, under his chin and down his...neck. Ichigo frowned. _What the hell?_ He cocked his head to the side and stared a bit more, certain that he was imagining things. _He couldn't actually be seeing what he was looking at_.

"Ichigo, you sure you're OK?" Kaien tried again.

Ichigo gave him an incredulous look before returning his gaze to the man's neck.

 _It was littered with what appeared to be love bites and small hickeys_.

Ichigo quirked his lips, his chest constricting and heart pounding on his ribs. _He hadn't given Kaien those marks_. They hadn't ever made it far enough for him to consider leaving his mark on the other man, but here Kaien stood, neck looking like a fucking foreplay battlefield. Ichigo stepped back and ran a hand through his spiky hair, wondering what he should do. _Should he confront Kaien? Point out the fact that the man had numerous maroon colored bruises on his neck? Or should he just ignore it and pretend he didn't even see them?_

Ichigo paced over to his bed, where he sat with a confused huff. He wasn't one to ignore the obvious, but in this case, he didn't think his heart could handle another cheater. _No, he didn't love Kaien, but that didn't mean the man's betrayal wouldn't crush him like a grape_.

 _Fuck_.

He sighed and decided he would gather his own information on the situation, but for the time being...

He glanced up at a silent Kaien and shook his head, wondering if Kaien had even bothered to look in a mirror before he came over. _If he did, did he even care that his neck was covered in what looked suspiciously like hickeys?_ Kaien had both hands tucked into the pockets of his black cargo shorts and the collar to his white polo shirt was upturned. _Maybe he had been trying to hide the evidence_.

Ichigo chortled derisively as he reached for his cell. "Kaien, I forgot I have something else to do tonight. Can you come back tomorrow?" he asked nonchalantly, making the dark-haired man arch a brow.

"S-sure. Ya want me to call you?" he asked, backing towards the door slowly.

Ichigo glanced up at him briefly and nodded before he hit a button on his phone to connect a call. "Yeah, OK," he muttered absently.

"Alright."

Kaien edged out of the room and shut the door softly behind him as Ichigo lifted the phone to his ear. After two rings the call was answered. "Yo," came a raspy baritone.

"Um, G-Grimmjow? Are you busy?" he asked hesitantly.

 _Grimmjow sounded like he'd been asleep or_... _otherwise occupied_. Ichigo felt his stomach plummet past his feet at the thought as he waited for his ex to respond. There was some rustling and shuffling before Grimmjow spoke. "I was sleepin'. Work kicked my ass taday," he grunted and Ichigo could imagine him sitting up in bed and running a hand over his face. "Why, what's up? You OK?"

Ichigo grinned ruefully. Always concerned. "I'm fine. I just...well, I was just wondering...if maybe...you wanted to, you know..." Ichigo face-palmed.

 _He was hopeless_.

Ichigo could hear Grimmjow's grin when he asked, "What's on yer mind, Ichigo?"

Steeling his nerves, Ichigo straightened his back and took a deep breath. "I wanna go bowling," he blurted.

 _Real smooth, Ichigo_.


	7. So Cold

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

Grimmjow waited in front of King Pin, pacing nervously. His hands were sweating and his heart was beating too fast to be considered normal. Ichigo had called him out of the blue, claiming he wanted to go bowling, of all things. Never mind the fact that this had been the location of their first date.

_Didn't Ichigo know the kind of pressure he was putting Grimmjow under?_

_Of course, he didn't_.

Ichigo didn't realize that Grimmjow was easing his way back into his heart, little by little. After being handed the deadly offer of just being friends with the man he loved more than he loved himself, he had devised the plan of getting Ichigo back, no exceptions. Grimmjow refused to be put on the bench to some newbie. Not to mention, he was dead tired of hearing about said newbie. Ichigo talked about the guy nonstop and if Grimmjow wasn't as strong as he was, he would have shoved his fist down Ichigo's throat a long time ago. He loved the orange-haired man, but that didn't mean it was easy to tolerate the guy gushing over his new squeeze. Every time Ichigo mentioned the name "Kaien", it was like a knife twist to the gut, chest and, more specifically, the heart.

Grimmjow paused his pacing and leaned against the wall of the building, the muffled sounds of pins being knocked down and music in the background permeating the stillness. He reached into his black, cargo shorts' back pocket and retrieved his lighter and pack of cigarettes. Hastily lighting one, he sucked in an urgent lungful, trying to calm his nerves before Ichigo arrived. He'd told the orange-haired man to meet him there at nine and it was five minutes to.

"I thought you quit that."

Grimmjow jumped like he was leaping over a hurdle, the cigarette he'd just lit tumbling to the ground as he turned to face Ichigo. Ichigo was standing a few feet away from him, wearing a saucy smirk, hands on his hips and _damn_ , did he look _good_. The orange-haired man sported a short-sleeved, navy-blue and white, Varsity polo shirt, a large, white A in the left corner, and solid-white, prep shorts. He matched the polo with a navy-blue, cloth belt and a pair of high-top, navy-blue and white Supra sneakers. His bright orange hair was still slightly damp and sticking up in rebellious spikes all over his head, and Grimmjow could smell his soap and aftershave from where he stood.

 _He remembered that smell very well_.

 _Shit, he remembered burying himself in it and savoring it as he licked the shorter man in places no one but him had a right to see_.

Getting entirely too hot under the collar, Grimmjow grinned uneasily as he shrugged. "I did, but it only lasted for a week."

Ichigo smiled, lighting up the already bright entrance, and made his way closer to Grimmjow, his hands diving into the pockets of his shorts. He stopped less than a foot away and it made Grimmjow twitch with an uncertain anxiety. Ichigo never got this close to him these days; he had always maintained a careful distance, probably not wanting him to get the wrong idea about their friendship and Grimmjow respected that.

 _He was in no hurry to ruin the tentative standing they had established_.

"You look nice," Ichigo stated, tipping his head back a bit to get a good look at Grimmjow's face.

Grimmjow wanted to yank Ichigo closer to him and kiss him until he begged for air, but, fortunately, he managed to keep his wits about him and resisted the urge. "You do, too," he replied.

Ichigo nodded, his smile nearly giving Grimmjow a heart attack; the nostalgia he felt was almost overwhelming. Ichigo pulled open the door to the bowling alley and arched his brows at him. "You comin'?"

Grimmjow smirked, ignoring the tug and pull in his gut, and followed his ex inside. The conditioned air pumping in the building, swept over them and immediately raised goosebumps. Grimmjow led the way down the blue and red, carpeted ramp to the front desk, his hand going to his left, back pocket for his wallet, but Ichigo gripped his wrist tightly, making him glance over his shoulder at the shorter man.

Ichigo shook his head, copper eyes dancing in the neon lights surrounding them. "Nah, I asked you out, so it's on me this time," he stated and brushed past Grimmjow to the counter.

Surprised, all Grimmjow could do was stand and watch as Ichigo interacted with a short, petite, alarmingly feminine, dark-haired man with lavender eyes. The man was flustered and blushing profusely, throwing shy, but admiring glances at Ichigo and his mile-wide grin. A flare of jealousy erupted in Grimmjow's chest, but he shoved it aside. He had no right feeling that way when Ichigo was still involved with someone else.

 _Still_...

The dark-haired man giggled and handed Ichigo two pairs of the ugly, beige and red, striped bowling shoes, one pair slightly larger than the other. Grimmjow grinned proudly when Ichigo turned, finally giving him his full attention, and offered him the larger pair of shoes.

"Size twelve, right?" Ichigo asked.

Grimmjow nodded as he accepted the shoes. "Yeah. Still the same."

Ichigo continued to smile as they made their way to lane thirteen and slipped into their shoes. Grimmjow plunked down at the score monitor and entered their names, eagerly anticipating the game he knew he was going to lose spectacularly. Ichigo had whooped his ass on their first date and Grimmjow knew this time would be no different, even though the overall setting was slightly different. This time, they were just hanging out as a couple of friends.

 _Unfortunately_.

After he entered their names onto the screen, he meandered over to the bowling ball rack to choose a ball. They were all different shades of outstanding, neon colors: orange, blue, green, hell, they even had pink. He took his time sizing the holes and finally chose an orange ball (so sue him; he couldn't get enough of the color). Ichigo sauntered up beside him, glanced at the ball he now had in his hand and smirked, his sable-brown eyes dancing in the dim, almost club-like lighting.

Grimmjow forced down his instinctual reactions of blushing and jumping defensive, when he realized that Ichigo definitely had an idea of why he had chosen an orange ball to bowl with. Ichigo maintained his devilish smirk as he leaned over, slowly perusing the racks and, ultimately, reached out for...a neon blue ball. He stuck his thumb, middle and ring fingers into the holes, making sure they were a good fit, then nodded, obviously satisfied. As he turned to head back to their lane, he shot a glance at Grimmjow and winked. Grimmjow almost swallowed his tongue in surprise.

 _Ichigo was flirting with him_.

 _The Kami were being especially generous tonight_.

He followed his ex, a shit-eating grin taking up most of his face. If Ichigo kept it up, he would end up in the backseat of Grimmjow's car, getting very reacquainted with all the things he'd missed in the past, agonizing months of their separation.

The bowling alley was filled with animated noises and loud voices, the black-lights making the balls, lanes and anything that happened to even have a speck of white in it, glow. Ichigo's name had been entered first on the score monitor, so he was up. He gave Grimmjow a smile that made Grimmjow's shorts tighten across the front, before stepping up a few feet from the line at the beginning of the lane. He positioned the ball, holding it out in front of him before taking two large steps, bringing his arm back and letting the ball go with astonishing strength and speed. The blue ball careened down the glossy lane, off to the right side and dangerously close to the gutter. Grimmjow grinned, hoping for once that Ichigo would be off his game, but just as the thought crossed his mind, the ball curved at the last second and veered into the middle of the lane, perfectly hitting the middle pin. The rest of the pins cracked and tumbled like dominoes, making Grimmjow's bit of hope wither up like a flower in winter.

 _Strike_.

Ichigo shouted and made a victorious pose, his arms over his head as he whirled around, his grin bigger than a colosseum. "Beat that!"

Grimmjow glared back at his ex, his middle finger automatically shooting out on front of him. Ichigo just hooted with laughter as he plopped down into the red seat behind the score monitor that Grimmjow had just vacated. Feeling extremely defensive and a bit ruffled at Ichigo's blatant challenge, Grimmjow grabbed his orange ball and stalked over to the line of the lane.

 _He'd show the orange head who was boss_.

 _Even if he couldn't bowl to save a group of hostages_.

Remembering a bit of advice that Nnoitra had tried drilling into his head (he could never understand why his tall friend loved bowling so fucking much), he lined his feet up and concentrated on the tiny arrows marking the positions of the pins. He then proceeded to bring the ball back and throw it down the lane with all his might.

Not even halfway down the damned lane, the fucking ball sailed into the gutter.

Grimmjow pressed his lips into a thin line, knowing for certain that his orange-haired ex was laughing his ass off behind him. Sure enough, as soon as he turned around, he spotted Ichigo trying to hide his laughter behind his tucked lips. His face was flushed a deep crimson with the effort, and Grimmjow found himself huffing agitatedly as he ran a hand through his hair and over his face. "Just laugh, dammit. Ya know ya wanna. Fuck, Ichigo, ya know I can' bowl fer shit."

Ichigo burst into riotous laughter, his deep voice booming and briefly overwhelming the melee in the background. "I-I'm sorry, Grimm. It's just...you looked so serious!" he stuttered through his guffawing.

The sound was so very nostalgic and comforting and Grimmjow lowered his head, shaking it slightly.

_How the hell could he stay annoyed with Ichigo, when everything the man did made him want to kiss and grip him tight?_

"Ain't that funny," he grumbled, going over to the machine that returned the bowling balls and waiting for his own to be regurgitated.

"Aww, c'mon! Don't be a spoil sport and have an attitude all night! It's just a game, right?"

"Whatever. Ya don' gotta laugh at me like that; ya know I hate losin'."

The game went on like that for the next several frames before Grimmjow got fed up and slunk off to the bar, where he ordered a beer. The bar was fairly empty, the tiny, white-haired bartender leaning against the counter as he watched a soccer match on the big screen behind him. When Grimmjow made his order, he realized that Ichigo might like something to drink as well, so he went ahead and asked for another beer, this one with a slice of lime, just the way Ichigo liked it.

He trudged back to their lane, not looking forward to another round of cruel torture in the form of hard, round balls and red and white pins. Ichigo was seated behind the score monitor when Grimmjow returned, his head down as he typed furiously into his cell phone. Grimmjow tried to ignore the anger and jealousy that threatened to make him act irrationally every time he saw Ichigo doing or saying something that involved his current boyfriend, but it sat in his gut like undigested food.

 _Ichigo was out with him! It was HIS turn to feel special! He shouldn't have to put up with Ichigo mentioning or catering to his boyfriend while they were trying to hang out_.

Grimmjow knew he was being selfish and a bit unreasonable, but fuck, he still loved Ichigo and it killed him every time the fact that Ichigo was no longer his was rubbed mercilessly in his face.

He quietly approached his ex and glanced over Ichigo's shoulder, hating himself for snooping, but not really giving a fuck either. What he saw made his stomach trip over itself.

Me: _I'm with a good friend right now, Kaien_. _I dn't have time to deal with ur selfishness_.

Kaien: _Who's the friend? I ever meet this prsn?_

Me: _Dsn't matter! Gotta go_. _Ttyl_.

Grimmjow quickly backed away and tried to suppress the goofy grin trying to break through his defenses. He didn't want to get his hopes up, but it seemed like Ichigo and his little boyfriend were going through a bit of trauma in their relationship. If that was the case, then he was more than happy to step in and remind Ichigo of all the good times they'd had. And were _still_ having because of Grimmjow's willingness to behave.

Ichigo pocketed his cell and Grimmjow pretended to just step down the stairs leading to their lane. He eased over to his ex and handed him the bottle of beer with a lime slice decorating the mouth. "I got ya a beer," he said.

Ichigo looked over at him, startled, but grinned through his surprise. "I was wondering if you'd run off. Thought you got tired of me kicking your ass," he chuckled.

Grimmjow frowned, sorely tempted to dump the bottle of beer over the boasting little prick's head. Instead, he waited for Ichigo to grab the bottle and swig deeply from it. His Adam's apple created a marvelous distraction and Grimmjow found himself unable to look away. He remembered Ichigo's throat making similar movements whenever he'd gone down on him. Blowing out a frustrated breath, he moved over to one of the red seats to the left of the score monitor and dropped into it, hastily chugging his beer as he tried to rein in his libido, which was thrashing about like a fish on dry land.

"Whose turn is it?" he asked absently, not really caring and distantly realizing that it was probably his.

"Yours."

 _Like he'd thought_.

Grimmjow sighed, tired of bowling, but merely tolerating it for Ichigo's sake. He really wanted to drag his ex off to the nearest dark corner and neck like horny, teenagers, but, alas...they were only friends. A growl slipped past his lips before he had a chance to stifle it, so as a diversion, he set his beer on the floor and moved to the machine for his ball. He stepped up to the line once he retrieved the orange bowling ball and focused on the arrows again.

Arm brought back.

Toss.

...Gutter.

 _Again_.

He pressed his lips together wanting to run down the lane and knock the pins down with a well-placed kick, but thought otherwise. He wasn't going to make a fool of himself by sprinting down the lane, only to fall and probably break a hip or collarbone. Loud laughter erupted from behind him and he silently snarled, refusing to give Ichigo the satisfaction of seeing him thoroughly rumpled and pissed about not being able to knock down ten, lousy fucking bowling pins.

Grimmjow supposed his efforts went in vain because he soon found himself glaring at the orange-haired man he still loved desperately. Ichigo was bent at the waist as he stood beside the score monitor, cracking up at Grimmjow's expense. He had a mind to walk over and make Ichigo change his tune. _Maybe kiss him into silence_. _Bet he wouldn't laugh at that_. But then, Grimmjow would lose all chances he might think he had in getting them back together, so he wouldn't do it.

 _Ichigo was lucky this time around_.

His ex finally decided he'd laughed enough and straightened his back, those tawny eyes still dancing with too much mirth. "Oh man, Grimm, you suck so much!" he commented.

"Tch! I thought we already established that?" he muttered sullenly as he made his way back to the machine to retrieve his ball.

Ichigo's grin softened as he slowly walked over to him. Grimmjow followed his ex's progress from the corner of his eye while he leaned down to grab his orange ball. When Ichigo stopped and only stood beside him, he glanced over at him with a curious frown. Before he could ask what the man was up to, Ichigo gripped his elbow and steered him back to the line. All he could do was maintain his confused scowl as Ichigo stood just behind him, his warm hand going for Grimmjow's wrist.

"Here. First off, you don't hold the ball like that. It's not a baseball; you actually have to utilize the finger-holes," he explained quietly, gently helping Grimmjow insert his thumb, middle and ring fingers into the aforementioned holes. Ichigo's voice was soothing and traveling across Grimmjow's skin like warm water. "Next, you gotta hold the ball straight. When you let it go, try not to let your wrist turn; that'll make it curve and end up in the gutter." With that, Ichigo stepped back and, using his pointed chin, indicated the lane. "Now, try it," he said.

Grimmjow had to make himself come down from the high he'd been climbing from having Ichigo's hands on him, having Ichigo so close and smelling so Kami-forsaken tempting. It was so unfair for his body to react to every little thing the orange-haired man did. Ichigo could jump out of a corner and shout "boo!" and it would probably turn him the fuck on. Swallowing forcefully, he did as Ichigo said, still concentrating on the arrows on the floor that gave off the pins' positions. Once he was ready, he brought his arm back and aimed for the arrow in the middle. Without turning his wrist, he threw the ball down the lane.

Grimmjow watched in amazement as the orange ball rapidly rotated down the polished lane, heading straight for the center pin. He held his breath as the ball slammed into the pin with a loud cracking noise, causing a domino effect that left the lane clear.

 _He'd achieved his first strike ever_.

He was rooted to the spot, still shocked, until Ichigo shouted and shook him from his astonishment. Grimmjow turned to his ex, a wide grin blooming across his features. Ichigo was smiling widely as well as he rushed towards him and threw his arms around him. Grimmjow, caught up in the moment, threw his arms around Ichigo and effortlessly lifted him off the floor.

"I can't believe you got a fuckin' strike!" Ichigo shouted over the music in disbelief.

Grimmjow gave him his best, smug grin and nodded. "It was yer doin' anyway."

Ichigo's eyes were crinkled in the corners as his smile stretched even wider. Suddenly, Ichigo was back on the ground, but standing on his toes, his arms up around Grimmjow's neck, and before Grimmjow could even register what was going on, the shorter man's lips were pressed to his.

_What?_

XOXOXO

Ichigo pulled back from the kiss like Grimmjow's lips were made of blue fire. His heart racing and thumping painfully in his chest, he lowered his head and studied the polished, wooden floor.

_Had he really just kissed Grimmjow?_

_Shit_.

He was afraid to look up at his ex. Ichigo had forgotten that they were no longer together in that capacity and had allowed himself a moment of weakness, driven by nostalgia. Grimmjow had looked so cute pouting about losing and not being able to bowl, so Ichigo had felt it only right to teach him. He hadn't expected the blue-haired man to get it on the very first try, let alone the tsunami of emotions that swallowed him up at the sight of Grimmjow's dumbfounded look, then his proud and triumphant smirk.

Ichigo licked his lips, still tasting the slightly bitter tang of Grimmjow's beer and the smoldering flavor that only he possessed. He missed Grimmjow so much and it was already bad enough that they were getting along the way they used to in the earlier times of their relationship, but now, he had to deal with his anger towards Kaien for his assholish behavior. Those hickeys were so suspicious, but Ichigo was afraid to find out the truth. He didn't want to be proven to be a fool, to have been taken advantage of. He didn't want to face the fact that he had given up a chance with his ex, the man he loved so breathtakingly much, only to have a relationship with a man who was truly cheating on him.

Ichigo drew in a long, cleansing breath, still refusing to meet Grimmjow's gaze. _What should he say to him?_ He hadn't meant to – no, he was lying. He'd _meant_ to kiss Grimmjow, but he _shouldn't_ have. His heart had gotten in the way of his logical side and it...

Grimmjow's strong, rough hand tilted Ichigo's head up by the chin, gently forcing Ichigo to lock eyes with him. "I ain't mad at ya," he rumbled quietly.

Ichigo swallowed and nodded, although he really wanted to fall into Grimmjow's arms like a helpless uke and beg him to save him from that big, bad, stupid, cheating boyfriend of his. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Don' say that," Grimmjow interrupted with a pain-filled grimace. He released Ichigo's chin and turned away, running a hand over his face and through his hair the way he did when he was annoyed, nervous or upset. Ichigo wondered which one he was dealing with at the moment. "Ya meant it. Ya just weren't 'sposed ta do it, yeah? Say that, but don' say ya didn' mean it."

Ichigo couldn't look at Grimmjow's back anymore. He felt like shit for making Grimmjow feel like shit.

_How had he forgotten that Grimmjow was dealing with his own emotions, his own issues as far as their situation went?_

_Because Grimmjow had hidden those feelings from him_. _He'd pretended to be his friend_.

_But why?_

Ichigo turned his gaze back to his ex and studied his profile. Grimmjow's back wasn't facing him anymore, so he took a good, long look at the man he loved. Grimmjow's jaw was tight, his brows were furrowed, his lips were pressed into a thin line and turned down in the corners, and his hands were fisted at his sides. He looked like he was barely containing a vicious rage... _or hurt_. Ichigo hadn't seen Grimmjow look that way since the night in his bedroom, when he'd told him he'd decided to stick it out with Kaien.

And then, with all the force of a floodlight, a light bulb went off in Ichigo's mind.

 _If he was right, then he had to give Grimmjow more credit than he'd initially given him_.

"Grimmjow," he called. Grimmjow turned slowly, his intense, electric blue eyes glowing in the dim lighting. "Why did you agree to being my friend?"

Grimmjow's back stiffened, then relaxed almost immediately, his shoulders seeming to lose all signs of life. He shrugged lazily and turned away, giving Ichigo another view of his profile. "Didn' have a choice, did I? It was either be yer friend, or...or lose ya altogether," Grimmjow paused to shake his head and briefly close his eyes. "Don' think I coulda handled that," he said so softly, Ichigo almost missed it over the blaring music.

His chest tightened and his heart stuttered. _Kami, what was Grimmjow trying to do to him?_ Grimmjow had lied to him, pretended to cheat on him, threw him away, all to push him out of his life because he'd thought he'd deserved better, when all Ichigo had _ever_ wanted was _him_.

 _Shit_.

_What was he supposed to do now?_

Before Ichigo could make a decision, Grimmjow's cell started protesting from the man's back pocket. He watched as Grimmjow withdrew the clamorous device and slid the screen up, then lifted it to his ear. Ichigo eavesdropped shamelessly, hoping against hope that Grimmjow hadn't decided to move on and sate his sexual hunger with another man. His hand flew to his throat and rubbed the skin there, his stomach plummeting to his feet at the thought of his ex with someone else.

 _Was that how Grimmjow felt every time he saw him?_ _Every time he mentioned Kaien?_

 _Shit_.

"Yo," Grimmjow grunted into the phone. There was a pause, then, "Tanight?" He glanced over his shoulder at Ichigo, causing them to lock eyes before Ichigo averted his gaze uneasily. _Was Grimmjow going to leave?_ "I'm kinda busy right now, Nnoitra." Ichigo sighed inaudibly, his muscles loosening in relief. He was glad to hear that not only wasn't Grimmjow leaving, but he was only talking to his tall friend from his old job (and thankfully, not another love interest. Yes, he was selfish when it came to Grimmjow. He knew it wasn't fair to hang onto the man in his heart, but he couldn't help himself).

Ichigo tuned out the rest of Grimmjow's conversation, until the man sighed and absently placed his cell near the score monitor. He ran a hand through his hair and over his face again, Ichigo watching avidly, taking in every minute movement the man made. Grimmjow was gruff, but more beautiful than any Renaissance painting. He was so enthralled by the bright blue hair that fell across his brow and the matching, severe eyebrows, that he didn't realize Grimmjow was saying something until the guy snapped in his face. Blinking and shaking the lustful haze away, he focused on those incredibly deep, blue eyes. "You said something?" he asked.

Grimmjow nodded. "I'm goin' ta the bathroom. Be right back," he mumbled and shoved off before Ichigo could even respond.

He was left staring at Grimmjow's broad back underneath a black, form-fitting, short-sleeved, v-neck tee, his long legs striding slowly within his black, cargo shorts as he made the short trip to the nearby restroom. Ichigo sighed and wondered when exactly he'd miscalculated Grimmjow's intentions. They had had a great relationship. They'd loved each other hard, Grimmjow in his own, brash way and Ichigo in his more affectionate manner. He couldn't believe they had gone to shit when Grimmjow had lost his job. They didn't deserve a fate as cruel as that, especially since Grimmjow really _hadn't_ cheated on him.

More than a little confused, he plopped down into the seat behind the score monitor and glanced at Grimmjow's cell phone. The sight of the black rectangle made Ichigo curious. He suddenly wondered what Grimmjow's ringtone for him was these days. When they'd still been together, Ichigo's tone had been "Lost In You" by Three Days Grace. It had been typical of Grimmjow to choose a song so interesting, and Ichigo wondered if it was still the same.

He extracted his own cell phone from his pocket and after glancing over his shoulder to make sure Grimmjow was nowhere in sight, he hurriedly pressed number three on his speed dial. He waited for the call to connect, his knee bouncing up and down nervously as he watched the darkened screen of Grimmjow's phone. Finally, the thing came to life, the screen showing Ichigo's face (a picture Grimmjow must have taken ages ago while he'd been asleep) and the song that played made his throat close up and his heart do an exaggerated jig.

" _Fuck that ****a that you love so bad,  
I know you still think about the times we had."  
I say "Fuck that ****a that you think you found,  
And since you picked up, I know he's not around."_

_I'm just sayin', you could do better  
Tell me have you heard that lately  
I'm just sayin' you could do better  
And I'll start hatin', only if you make me_

He'd heard the song a few times on the radio, but never the unedited version and the words seemed to slice into him like a hot butcher knife. _Was that how Grimmjow really felt?_ _Duh, Ichigo_ , he thought to himself. _Of course it was, or else he wouldn't have assigned it as_ his _ringtone_. Ichigo swallowed and quickly ended the call. He went into Grimmjow's phone and erased the missed call, as to not alert the blue-haired man to what he'd done. Once he was finished, he replaced Grimmjow's phone beside the score monitor and slipped his own cell back into his pocket. He sat back in the seat, heart hammering against his ribs as he waited for Grimmjow to return from the bathroom.

It seemed like only seconds passed before Grimmjow's unique scent, a mixture of deodorant, clean clothes, soap and his own soothing smell invaded Ichigo's senses, making his body involuntarily react. Grimmjow sauntered into view and gave him a sideways look. He seemed a bit on edge and Ichigo was positive it was because of what had happened only a few minutes before. Deciding that it just wasn't worth it to lose what they had, he brushed aside the thick, awkward tension and gave his ex a bright, charming smile, hoping it would assuage his doubts. Grimmjow's piercing blue eyes softened considerably as he openly stared.

"We good?" he asked, deep, gravelly voice rumbling like rolling boulders.

Ichigo rose from his seat and walked over to the taller man, craning his head to look him in the face.

 _Kami, he really wanted to kiss him again, this time more deeply_.

He wanted to feel Grimmjow's hands on him, while Grimmjow used that sinful voice to murmur things in his ear, showing a side of himself that Ichigo hoped had only been seen by himself.

 _Fuck_.

 _The way he felt about Grimmjow was scary_.

But he couldn't be with him at the moment. He had to resolve his issues with Kaien first, then maybe he would think about being with his ex again. He was slightly scarred, though. Grimmjow had indirectly lied to him and pushed him away during a time when the man had been so obviously vulnerable, a time when Ichigo's presence should have comforted him.

Dismissing that line of thought, he nodded up at the blue-haired man. "Yeah, we're good."

And then, Grimmjow did something that made Ichigo's stomach go hot and cold at the same time. He reached out and took his hand ever so gently and just held it, rubbing the pads of his large, roughened fingers across Ichigo's knuckles. Ichigo averted his gaze and stared down at the floor, his bottom lip demanding to tremble and give away the turbulent storm brewing in his heart.

_Why did Grimmjow have to be so fucking perfect, even while being completely imperfect?_

Unwanted tears stung the backs of his eyes as he fought the urge to bawl like an infant. He was so ready to just throw caution to the wind and say "fuck Kaien", just like Grimmjow's ringtone suggested he do.

 _Kami_.

Instead he slowly pulled his hand away, but plastered a smile on his face so Grimmjow wouldn't think he didn't want to be touched by him. He never wanted Grimmjow to think that he didn't love him, didn't still care deeply for him.

 _Stupid dilemma_.

The abrupt noise of girlish giggling snapped him out of his angsty slump and made him glance to his right. There was a group of four girls, three voluptuous and statuesque, the fourth short and petite, but very obviously pregnant. Two had long, wavy hair similar to his own, but without the fiery quality, one had long, curly, sea-green hair and the last had shoulder-length, crow-black hair. They were all fairly beautiful.

 _Not to mention, loud as hell_.

The green-haired woman squealed at the pitch of a dog whistle as the shorter, apricot-haired woman got a spare, knocking down the four remaining pins in the lane. The dark-haired woman winced and rubbed her protruding belly, a smile still managing to grace her features. She was seated behind the score monitor, while the other three surrounded her like a protective bubble. Ichigo didn't know why he was having a hard time taking his eyes off her.

 _Maybe it was the belly she sported_. _He'd never had a close encounter with any pregnant women before, so this was a first for him_.

The tall red head cracked a grin and leaned over to rub the dark-haired woman's baby bump, exclaiming it was for good luck, spawning the entire group to descend on the girl like carrion buzzards. She swatted them away when their hands became too enthusiastic, a wide, amused grin gracing her features.

Ichigo finally dragged his gaze away from the gaggle of chirpy females and turned back to Grimmjow, who was watching him curiously. "Ya know one a'them?" he asked, his head tilting to the side.

Ichigo loved when he did that; _it always reminded him of a playful puppy_.

"Nah, but they're noisy as hell," he replied, giving the women another glance.

This time when he looked at their group, his breath choked to a stop at the intense stare coming from the dark-haired, pregnant woman. Her eyes were narrowed as she seemed to study him carefully. The whole thing left Ichigo shuddering, with a serious case of goosebumps. He carefully turned away from the woman, which did nothing in his opinion because he could still distinctly feel her eyes all over him.

 _It was eerie_.

"Why's that chick lookin' at ya like that, Ichi?" Grimmjow asked quietly, his voice dropping to a dangerous level.

Ichigo jumped and focused on his ex, Grimmjow's dark tone clearly relayed in the creasing of his brow. "Maybe she thinks I'm hot," Ichigo replied, trying to avoid what could prove to be a disastrous event.

Grimmjow was severely overprotective, even when it came to a mere slip of a woman. If Ichigo hadn't already been accustomed to Grimmjow's ways, he'd have taken offense to the man's actions. He probably would have become defensive, wondering why Grimmjow felt the need to protect him from a woman who didn't seem to make it past his armpits.

Grimmjow just quirked his lips in a "yeah, right" kind of gesture and waved at the score monitor. "Wanna play another game?" he asked.

Ichigo grinned and nodded. _Perhaps that would take his mind off the woman still staring at him quite avidly_.

**XxxxxX**

Ichigo plopped down into the seat behind the score monitor after a ridiculously exhausting second game. Grimmjow only got better and better as the night went on, making Ichigo's victory harder and harder to achieve. He hadn't expected Grimmjow to adapt so well after being given simple instructions, but he had.

Ichigo rubbed a hand across his brow and tried to massage away the tension slowly gathering there. Grimmjow appeared behind him out of nowhere like a persistent pimple and placed his oversized hands on Ichigo's shoulders. He began kneading the tight muscles littered across Ichigo's back and shoulders, making him turn into a limp, spaghetti noodle. He remembered when Grimmjow would do this for him when they were still together. Ichigo would have a long, annoying day at the office, only to come home to the best kind of treatment a man could experience. Grimmjow would take his shoes at the door, lead him to the couch in the living room, or the bed in the bedroom and proceed to render him speechless, the only sounds being his moans and groans.

He missed those days, but this was his idea; this self-induced torture was all his idea. He was the one that fought so hard to stay with Kaien, while Grimmjow had wanted him back, trying to persuade him with promises of never pushing him away again.

In the middle of his spine-bending massage, a soft, feminine voice from his right, filtered through the fog his mind had created. The voice sounded like, on any other occasion, it would be deeper, more gruff, but the woman was keeping it tightly guarded because they _were_ essentially strangers.

"Excuse me, is your name Ichigo?" she asked cautiously.

Ichigo flinched and stared incredulously at the woman, who obviously knew him by name. _Had he met her somewhere before?_ Her belly kept distracting him from the long, white, summer dress she wore as well as the white, flip-flops on her feet. He had to force his eyes away from the medium-sized bump that was her stomach, consciously meeting her intense gaze. Her eyes were violet and shining down at Ichigo warmly.

"Yeah," he hesitantly answered, noticing that Grimmjow's hands on his shoulders had stilled completely.

"That's what I thought," she said with a sigh as she ran a delicate hand through her inky hair. She briefly shut her eyes, but snapped them wide once more, her face pinkening. "I'm Rukia Kuchiki and I believe you're sleeping with my boyfriend," she whispered, her voice no longer confident.

On the other hand, Ichigo felt his face pale as he digested what she'd just told him.

_Sleeping with her boyfriend?_

Ichigo glanced over his shoulder to see Grimmjow's jaw straining as he clearly gritted his teeth and gave the short woman a death glare reserved only for pedophiles and murderers. The blue-haired man had a tight grip on Ichigo's shoulders and the slight pain was enough to almost make him cry out. _Was she talking about Grimmjow?_

Ichigo took another look at her as if to ascertain whether she was Grimmjow's type or not, and as his eyes sank to her belly, everything started clicking into place.

Pregnant woman.

 _Pregnant_ woman.

 _Holy shit_.

 _No fucking way_.

"Y-your boyfriend?" Ichigo stuttered, fearful for her to answer him.

"Yes. Kaien Shiba is my boyfriend and we've been together for over four years. He proposed to me last night," she said, her voice ending in a soft trail.

Ichigo swallowed harshly and stared at the woman accusing _him_ of sleeping with _her_ boyfriend.

_Shouldn't that be the other way around?_

"Ya tryin' ta start trouble?" Grimmjow growled dangerously from behind him.

Ichigo didn't even have a chance to effectively understand exactly what was going on before he found himself trying to calm Grimmjow's nerves. "It's alright, Grimmjow. I don't think she's trying to start any trouble."

"Wha? She jus' said yer sleepin' wit' her boyfriend. How can that be true when he's wit'chu?"

Ichigo tamped down the tears rapidly filling his eyes as he stood and gazed down at the petite woman. He glanced over to her left hand and his breath was stolen at the sight of a large, diamond engagement ring. As if she'd followed his eyes, she lifted her hand for him to get a better look. "He gave this to me last night and we spent the day together today. I'm expecting his child in three months. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you like this, but I've been patient long enough. Kaien has led me to believe that he was waiting for the right time to end things between the two of you, so that we could be together. I don't have anything against you, Ichigo, but I don't think it's fair to either of us for this to continue. I love Kaien and we've been together for some time. I don't want to throw everything we've had and still have away-"

Ichigo held up a hand, interrupting her, no longer able to listen to her heartfelt words. _Not only did he feel bad because Kaien had lied to him, but he felt bad because this woman obviously cared about him and had been dragged into a mess_. "I understand. I won't see him anymore," he said breathily, ignoring the indignant grunt that came from Grimmjow.

Rukia nodded, her violet eyes sad and weary as she slowly turned to head back over to her group of friends, who had been watching the exchange silently and waiting for her return. Ichigo stared at nothing in particular for a minute more, until he was aggressively folded into an embrace. Grimmjow's scent enveloped him and almost – _almost_ – made him lose all of his carefully contained composure.

 _He didn't know what to do anymore_.

That had been proof enough that Kaien had indeed been sporting hickeys when he'd come to Ichigo's house earlier that evening. _But to find out that Kaien was_ engaged? _What was he supposed to do with that information, aside from stop speaking to the raven-haired prick he'd formerly called his boyfriend? Why hadn't Kaien bothered to tell him the truth? Why hadn't he let him go before things made a turn for the worst?_ _He would have understood Kaien still having feelings for his "ex" because he knew it was possible_. _Shit, case in point_ : _he still loved Grimmjow quite vehemently_.

Despair and anger warred and fought for prevalence within him, making him roughly push away from Grimmjow. _Why did everyone find the need to lie to him? Why did they think he was stupid? A fool? He wasn't! And he wasn't about to let ANYONE treat him as such_. _He'd die before he let himself be taken advantage of again_. Tears clouding his eyes, he stepped out of the safe, comforting circle of Grimmjow's arms and toed out of the bowling shoes on his feet. He stepped into his sneakers and turned to Grimmjow, so thoroughly distracted, he didn't notice the look of helplessness on the man's face.

"Grimm, I'm gonna call it a night," he uttered, lost. Grimmjow moved to close the gap between them, but Ichigo stopped him with three words. "Don't do it."

Grimmjow stiffened, but the look of concern etched into his features was quickly morphing into outright panic. Ichigo didn't realize he was crying and that his face was just as miserable as it had been the day he'd stood his ground against the blue-haired man before him.

"Ichigo, I don' think ya need ta be alone right now."

"That's exactly what I need right now," he whispered, voice hoarse and throat dry as tissue paper.

"Ichi-"

"Grimm! Please?" he begged, eyes locking with his ex's stunning blue ones. "I just need to be alone. I'll call you, OK?"

Grimmjow's face went tight as he contemplated Ichigo's offer. The look on his face clearly read that he wasn't convinced and that he was thinking about denying Ichigo his request. _But then, he didn't_. He sighed long and loudly, shaking his head as he shot a dark glare in the pregnant woman's direction. The noise coming from the group of women had decreased exponentially. Everyone seemed to feel the solemn mood between the red head and the small, pregnant woman.

"Ichi, I don' wanna let ya leave alone, but I know ya won' listen ta reason right now, so...call me when ya get home, yeah? I need ta know ya got there safe."

Ichigo nodded, already reaching in his pocket for his old man's car keys as he rushed to the entrance, leaving a bewildered Grimmjow in his wake. He could no longer stay in that building, looking at Kaien's fiance and her friends, or even Grimmjow, for that matter. The man hadn't done anything this time around, but Kaien's betrayal and blatant lies had sliced far more deeply than he'd initially thought, reminding him of the way Grimmjow's treatment had nearly killed him and left him heartbroken for months.

 _He wasn't ready to deal with anymore at the moment_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo's ringtone: Marvin's Room-Drake


	8. Inevitable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LoL I used to use italics so weirdly in my earlier writing. Forgive me.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach...

Onwards...

XOXOXO

Ichigo paced in front of a medium-sized apartment complex, his heart thumping loudly and painfully in his ears. He'd been trying and trying to check his anger, but all it did was fester and bloom, like he was pouring MiracleGro over it. His hands were shaking and his chest kept tightening, his stomach falling to his knees at every quiet moment he achieved.

Finally, surrendering to the internal voice he'd been battling for the last hour, he stalked up to the front entrance and threw the glass door open. He strode through the lobby, the security guard at the desk giving him a quick glance before waving and smiling cheerfully. The tall, silver-haired man wore a black and gold uniform, the gold piping down the sides of his legs bringing out the honey-gray of his eyes. He was built like an American football player, but had the disposition of a big brother.

"Hey, Ichigo! Here ta see Kaien?" he called as Ichigo swiftly made his way to the elevators.

Ichigo nodded briefly, too distracted to notice the look of concern steadily descending over the guard's face. "Yeah, Kensei. He here?"

"Uh, yeah. Saw him a few hours ago. Ya good, Ichigo?"

Ichigo merely nodded again, his jaw tight as a mouse trap spring. Once he arrived at the elevators, he stabbed the call button and was grateful when the silver set of doors on the left slid open. A young couple stepped out, giving Ichigo a wide berth and wary glances. He snorted under his breath and boarded the elevator, jabbing the button for the eighth floor before settling against the wall and folding his arms across his chest.

Ichigo could see nothing but red. His teeth were aching from being clenched together for so long, but Ichigo wouldn't see an end to his raging fury until he'd gotten some answers from Kaien: the man himself.

The elevator dinged and Ichigo hurried from the cramped inside, briskly striding down to the end of the hall, where he knocked – no – banged ruthlessly on the heavy, industrial door. There was a flurry of movement behind it before it was yanked open, a disheveled Kaien standing on the threshold.

"What the fuck is wrong - Ichigo?"

Ichigo slowly let his eyes travel the lean, shirtless figure of his ex-boyfriend, from the top of his dark head, past the gray boxers he wore, and down to his bare feet. The sight absolutely turned his stomach and shoved his anger over his head. He wasn't even thinking when he snapped, his right fist flying forward and connecting harshly to Kaien's jaw. Kaien stumbled backwards into his home, his green-gray eyes wide with shock. Ichigo's blood boiled as he followed the man into the apartment. He kicked the door closed and punched Kaien again, this time his fist crushing the taller man's nose.

"Wha' da _fuck_ , Ichigo?" Kaien cried, one hand covering the now bleeding appendage.

A bruise was forming along Kaien's jaw, but Ichigo wasn't satisfied with that insignificant bit of damage. He wanted Kaien to _hurt_ , to _suffer_ , to feel just a _modicum_ of the pain Ichigo was dealing with. He snarled in response to Kaien's surprised outburst and lunged forward like a wildcat. He fell onto the dark-haired man, taking them both to the floor before straddling his waist and mercilessly pounding the man into the floor. Tears blurred his vision, his nose ran like a river, and still he didn't stop. He just kept letting his fists do his talking, spilling forth all the misery he was currently experiencing.

Finally, Ichigo realized that Kaien wasn't even fighting back. In fact, the dark-haired man was merely staring up at him through swollen lids. His face was bloody, his lips cut and cheeks bruised, but his expression wasn't one of anger like Ichigo had been expecting. It was sad.

And guilty.

Ichigo stopped hammering the man, his chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath and stop the sobs making his body quake. He glared down at Kaien, waiting for something - anything - to happen.

"I'm _sorry_ ," Kaien croaked, his eyes shiny. "I'm _so sorry_."

The statements sailed over Ichigo's head, causing him to stare dumbly at the battered man beneath him. It took another minute of tense silence before the words Kaien had spoken actually sunk in.

"You're sorry? You're _sorry? Are you fucking kidding me right now?_ " he shouted, glaring down at Kaien like the man had just declared that he worshiped leprechauns. "Let me share a little story with you, Kaien," Ichigo snapped as he climbed to his feet, then jerkily moved over to the door, where he plowed a hand through his hair. "I ran into someone today, who told me a few things _you_ should have told me _a long fucking time ago_. Her name was Rukia."

When Ichigo said the pregnant woman's name, Kaien's eyes grew to the size of grapefruits, which was a feat in itself considering the sea-green orbs were nearly swollen shut. The raven-haired man slowly sat up, blood dripping from his nose and a cut over his eyebrow. Ichigo watched with disdain as Kaien rubbed the back of his head, his demeanor screaming regret.

"She told me that _I_ was sleeping with _her_ boyfriend. Oh, no, lemme correct that: her _fiance_ ," Ichigo continued, the anger he'd been feeling gradually filling him up from the inside out. "That you, _Kaien Shiba_ , had proposed to her last night and had been promising her that you were going to dump me, so the two of you could be together. That you were only trying to figure out how to let me down easily. Do you have any fucking idea how _embarrassed_ I was? How fucking _mortified?_ How _hurt?_ Why the fuck couldn't you tell me this shit yourself? Why'd you make me believe you really wanted me? Why'd you fucking _cheat?_ _You should have told me, you fucking coward!_ " Ichigo roared, beside himself with rage, despair and confusion.

He didn't know which way was up anymore. He still couldn't come up with a plausible reason for Kaien's thorough betrayal, when the shit had been so unnecessary. They could have gone their separate ways: Kaien back to his pregnant ex (which was clearly where he really wanted to be) and Ichigo...well, he would have figured something out. He was so disgusted with the entire situation, all he could do was run his hand through his hair again and sweep Kaien with one last searing glare.

"You don't deserve to be happy while I'm left miserable. You don't deserve to walk away from this shit scott-free, without even a blemish on your heart. Do you even _have_ a heart? How could you sleep at night, knowing what you were doing to me? How could you live with yourself, knowing that you were hurting innocent people?" Ichigo asked incredulously, his voice cracking. "You know what? You're a cold-blooded bastard and I'm _so_ _glad_ I didn't fuck you," Ichigo added, ending his speech.

Throughout his entire tirade, Kaien hadn't said a word, but had maintained his chastised expression and his tail-tucked-between-his-legs demeanor. Ichigo was actually glad the man hadn't spoken; it probably would have done nothing but set him off again. He threw open Kaien's apartment door and left without looking back, his chest feeling like Buddha had decided to sit on it. His ears were ringing for some strange reason and his heart was beating on his tongue. All in all, he was a fucking mess. Kicking Kaien's ass had simply distracted him from his roiling emotions, which were now consuming him as he rode the elevator to the building's lobby.

Two men that he had allowed himself to actually open up and care for had lied to him and shoved his heart back at him.

**XxxxxxX**

**Three Weeks Later**

"Hey, Ichigo, it's Grimm. Gimme a call an' lemme know how yer doin', yeah? ...I'm worried about ya. I know ya don' wanna be bothered right now, but...I need ta at least hear from ya. I need ta know that yer not...not...shit...Ichigo, jus' call me."

 _Click_.

Ichigo stared at his cell phone as he lazily lounged across his unmade bed. His room was thickly silent and dark, the windows drawn in order to block out the world, making the glowing screen of his phone the only form of light. The only sounds that could be heard were the strong smatterings of rain against his window, and the buzzing of his phone.

He was wearing a well-worn pair of faded, blue and white, striped, knit boxers that sported a couple frayed sections that were close to becoming full-blown holes. His room smelled stale and was an overturned mess that he hadn't bothered cleaning after he'd destroyed it the night he'd beaten the living skin off of Kaien's cowardly hide. He'd had a shower that morning, but hadn't moved from the bed since. He barely ate, surviving mostly on water and orange juice, and he rarely left his room, except for quick trips to the bathroom. His old man and little sisters were obviously worried sick, but he'd taken to completely ignoring them whenever they knocked on his door, asking him if he was OK, if he needed anything, if he was still alive...

He'd successfully blocked out the whole world, neglecting his phone, neglecting his friends, and even neglecting his job. Luckily, he'd made the effort to take a much needed leave of absence from the place, so he wouldn't find himself unemployed whenever - if - he managed to overcome the severe bout of depression he was trudging through. He couldn't go back to work, where he would be faced with seeing Kaien's lying, sorry ass everyday. He definitely wouldn't be able to handle that in his fragile state. As a matter of fact, he would start looking for another job soon.

His cell buzzed again, making him squint at the luminous screen. Ichigo grunted and threw his arm across his eyes, resting his head back against his pillows. Another text message. He'd been studiously avoiding everyone, but one person had been more persistent than all of his friends and acquaintances.

Grimmjow.

Grimmjow either sent him texts, or called without fail, several times everyday. Although Ichigo found it somewhat annoying, he couldn't bring himself to truly hold any anger towards his blue-haired ex. The man was really trying to be there for him and honestly, it was pretty touching. Grimmjow had always shown his affection, love and concern for Ichigo in his own, gruff manner, but this open worry formed a tiny bloom of hope in Ichigo's chest. He was mad at the world, pissed that everyone felt the need to lie and deceive him, but at the same time, he'd come to realize that what he'd felt for Kaien paled drastically in comparison to the sheer power of what he'd felt (and still felt) for Grimmjow.

Grimmjow had inadvertently lied to him and pushed him away, but during the time Ichigo was taking to just think (never mind wallow in misery), he also realized that everything Grimmjow had done had been for him. His stupid actions, his lack of communication, the overwhelming hurt he'd caused by leading Ichigo into believing he had cheated on him: they had all been to protect Ichigo from what Grimmjow considered an unworthy person. Grimmjow had only wanted the very best for Ichigo and when it seemed like he no longer fit the bill, he had decided (no matter how unwisely) to eliminate himself from the equation.

Only problem with that was, he hadn't talked to Ichigo about it first and, in the process, had made a colossal mistake. Ichigo hadn't cared about Grimmjow losing his job; he'd loved the man, himself, and had wanted nothing more than to be with him for the rest of his natural life. Ichigo grunted again and finally decided to read the text he'd just been sent.

 _Ichigo, call me_. _I need to hear your voice_.

Ichigo sighed and stared up at his ceiling after setting his phone to the side. His heart began thundering as his mind sluggishly reached a conclusion. Yes, Grimmjow had majorly fucked up, yes, he'd hurt Ichigo to his core, but...the fact of the matter still stood: Grimmjow loved him, and that was a hell of a lot more than could be said for Kaien. Not to mention, Grimmjow had never cheated in the first place, whereas Kaien had.

Ichigo jerked to a sitting position, his chest tightening almost painfully, making him grasp the spot over his heart and pant desperately. As he stared into the darkness of his room in the general direction of the door, he finally accepted what his broken heart had been trying its damnedest to deny.

Grimmjow was indeed the only man for him; he would NEVER love another man the way he loved Grimmjow.

Ichigo chuckled dryly before licking his lips and swinging his legs over the side of his bed. "I love him too much," he whispered to himself, the hushed statement disappearing into the blanket of silence in his darkened room, the sound of the thunderstorm raging outside enveloping it. "Fuck."

He surged from the bed, his body screaming at the abrupt movements and reminding him of his intense inertia. His previous lack of activity made his actions jerky and awkward, but he fought through it as he stumbled around his room, anxiously dressing himself in a discarded gray tee and a pair of black, basketball shorts. He grabbed his keys and wallet from his desk, his phone from his bed, and hustled out of his room, down the stairs past his astonished little sister, Yuzu, and to the front door, where he slipped his feet into a worn pair of black and white athletic slippers.

He ignored Karin's curious stare and his old man's squeak of surprise as he bustled out of the house, mind intent on one person.

XOXOXO

Grimmjow glared helplessly down at his cell phone situated in his lap as he sucked urgently on a cigarette. He'd been trying fruitlessly to contact Ichigo since the night at the bowling alley, when all he'd really wanted to do was find that asshole Ichigo had called a boyfriend, and turn his fucking face into a Picasso. Instead, he'd directed all of his destructive energy into trying to get Ichigo to talk to him, or let him know that he was OK. He knew his orange-haired ex was probably in a bad way emotionally, but he wanted Ichigo to know that he was there for him, and he didn't have to mourn that farce of a relationship alone. Sure, Grimmjow had ulterior motives, sure he wanted to persuade Ichigo that he was the only man for the job, even though he'd fucked up royally, but his intentions were pure. He loved Ichigo and he hated seeing the man upset. Knowing Ichigo was more than likely at home submerged in grief pissed him off and made him want to kill something – or more accurately _someone_ – with his bare hands.

He hated feeling so damned helpless.

He drew in another deep lungful of nicotine filled smoke and exhaled noisily after holding it in for a few seconds. His hands shook with the need to unleash the deep-seated fury he was experiencing. He'd been alternating between sitting at home, trying to reach Ichigo, and going to work, where his concentration had been shot to hell. Szayel had shown up at his apartment a few days ago, scolding him for being so stupid, having previously forgiven Grimmjow for punching him, but Grimmjow honestly didn't know what the hell to do. He felt like his hands were tied with a length of chain. If he went out looking for that Kaien idiot, Ichigo would get pissed and hate him forever. If he went to Ichigo's home to force him to speak to him, Ichigo would resent it and never forgive him for that, either. On the other hand, Grimmjow was left to stew in the mess of worry and concern he'd been thrust into, resulting in his helpless state.

He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't.

Grimmjow ran an agitated hand over his face and through his hair. If only Ichigo would just call, or even text him, he would feel a million times better. His cell buzzed, making him jump and almost drop his cigarette. Getting a grip on his nerves he glanced down at the screen and sighed when he noticed that it was only a call from Nnoitra.

"What?" Grimmjow answered the phone grumpily as he put out the cigarette.

"I wan' my fifty bucks, asshole! I won the bet!"

"What the fuck're you talkin' 'bout?"

"Urahara! He's boinkin' that chick we saw in the office the other day!"

Grimmjow remembered who Nnoitra was talking about after a second of thinking, but his mind wasn't focused on a bet. "Whatever. You c'n have yer money. Now get off my phone. I'm waitin' on a call."

Nnoitra snorted. "There is such a thing as call waiting, dork. This ain't the stone age no more."

"So? Maybe I don' feel like talkin' right now."

There was a short pause before Nnoitra chuckled softly. "Tell Ichigo I said hey if he calls."

With that, the connection was severed. Grimmjow sat gritting his teeth, hating the fact that he was so fucking see-through to both of his friends. How had Nnoitra – who'd always seemed so oblivious – seen right through to the core of Grimmjow's crankiness? Grimmjow shook his head and climbed to his feet. He slowly made his way to the kitchen and stood in front of the refrigerator, his heart climbing into his throat as he studied the pictures covering the freezer door. Ichigo's smiling face jumped out at him from every photo, his warm brown eyes laughing and absolutely breathtaking. Grimmjow traced the man's face sadly. God, he missed Ichigo so much.

If Grimmjow could apologize to him a million times a day, he would, if only it meant that Ichigo would come home. Come back to him. Grimmjow sighed, then opened the fridge, where he grabbed a bottle of beer. He removed the cap with his back teeth and paused after he'd done it, his face pulling into a grimace. Ichigo's eyes invaded his conscience, yet again, this time stern.

" _You're such a barbarian! What if you break your teeth, idiot?"_

Grimmjow sighed again, his chest aching. This sucked. He'd thought he'd been making progress with Ichigo until the night they'd gone bowling and seen that pregnant chick. Then everything had just...crumbled. Ichigo withdrew and Grimmjow didn't know what to do to reach him. That familiar feeling of helplessness hit him again and nearly overwhelmed him. He loved Ichigo so much, it hurt. To be so close to getting him back, only to have that chance snatched away from him was like torture.

If only he hadn't pushed Ichigo away in the first place, none of this would be happening. Grimmjow winced and rubbed the spot over his heart, his lungs burning as he tried not to hyperventilate. What would he do without Ichigo in his life? He couldn't even fathom it. He wouldn't. The love he had for the orange-haired man was too strong for him to let go of so easily, so he wouldn't even try. He just wished Ichigo would talk to him again. Listen to him when Grimmjow told him he was sorry for messing up, sorry for assuming things and pushing him away. Trust him when he said he would _never_ do it again... _ever_.

Grimmjow set his beer on the kitchen island and went back to the living room, where he grabbed his phone from the couch. One glance at the screen was enough to tell him that Ichigo hadn't called or messaged him back, and he more than likely wouldn't, either. Grimmjow was growing restless and anxious, not to mention angry. He was frustrated as hell. What he wouldn't give to have Ichigo just call him right now. At least that would soothe him somewhat, knowing that his ex was OK. And even if Ichigo wasn't OK, at least if he called, Grimmjow would know that too. As things stood, he had no idea what to think. It worried him.

He ran a hand through his hair and braced his other against the arm of the couch, his heart thumping painfully. This was all his fucking fault. If he hadn't been such a bum and lost his job the first time around, he wouldn't have felt the need to push Ichigo away. He wouldn't have thought that Ichigo deserved someone better than him.

"Fuck," he choked, his throat tight.

His eyes stung, and frustrated tears filled them as his hand tightened on the couch. He was pathetic. Miserable. A low-life loser. He'd basically given away the only thing that had ever meant something to him – the only person, actually. It hurt and made him sick to his stomach. The one time he tried being noble, it backfired on him. Christ, he was such a fucking idiot.

Trying to walk off the pain, he made his way to the living room window and stared out at the dark sky and pouring rain. Thunder growled and boomed deafeningly and lightning flashed furiously. Grimmjow used to love stormy nights. He used to love laying out on the couch with Ichigo in his arms, watching a movie or some nonsense on TV. He used to love distracting the scaredy-cat orange-haired man by making love to him until Ichigo forgot about the storm or fell asleep.

Grimmjow closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cool pane of glass. That would probably never happen again. None of it. Grimmjow raised a hand and balled it into a fist before resting that too against the window.

"Ichigo," he whispered.

His only answer was the driving rain as it pounded against the window, and the angry-sounding thunder. If Grimmjow didn't know any better, it sounded almost like someone was banging against his apartment door, the storm was that close. But then there was a lull in the noise, where the lightning did its thing and Grimmjow realized that what he'd heard hadn't been the thunder _or_ his imagination, either. He glanced over his shoulder as he listened to the desperate knocking. It seemed like someone was really trying to get inside his home.

Grimmjow slowly edged towards the door, cursing the fact that it didn't have a peep hole. He hesitated at the door, wondering who the hell was at his place at a time like this, not to mention in weather like this. Deciding to just find out, he snatched the door open and froze, everything suspended in mid-air as he took in his visitor. Soaking wet clothes that dripped puddles onto the floor, drenched, bright orange hair and fiery brown eyes.

Ichigo?

Grimmjow couldn't even find his voice long enough to form the shorter man's name as he stared at him incredulously. What the hell was his ex doing there? Why hadn't he answered any of Grimmjow's calls or messages? What the fuck was going on?

Those were all of the things that Grimmjow wanted to ask Ichigo, but his mouth wouldn't move and his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth. Ichigo looked tired, but he also looked pissed. His slender body had become even more slender and his frame shook uncontrollably. They stood staring at each other for a while longer before Ichigo finally made the first move. He roughly shoved Grimmjow back into the apartment and followed him inside where he closed and locked the door. Confused, Grimmjow lost his balance, but quickly regained it and glared at his ex.

Before the evil look even had time to settle on his face, his head was forced to the right from a sharp punch that left him seeing stars and blinking stupidly. Again, before he could even react properly, another blow was landed to his jaw, making him stumble over his feet and hit the floor, landing hard on his ass. Stunned, all he could do was cradle his face, where Ichigo had apparently hit him twice. He stared up at his angry ex, shocked into silence. Ichigo looked like he'd lost a lot of weight; he even looked frail. But _damn_ , did the little shit hit hard.

"You _lied_ to me," Ichigo started quietly, his voice quivering with fury. "You assumed that I didn't need you _and then_ you made me believe the worst of you. You pushed me away _purposely_." Ichigo glared down at him, his brown eyes hard and shining.

Grimmjow wanted to shrink into nothingness from the way Ichigo looked at him and from the way everything the man said pierced his soul, making him feel like shit. He supposed he deserved it, though, and he would endure it if this was what Ichigo needed.

"Do you have any idea how I felt? Well, lemme tell you. I felt like I'd _died_ , Grimmjow. God, it hurt just to _think_ about you. I thought I hated you, hell I'd even moved on...but then you just came back into my life and fucked my head up even more. _And then_ I found out that you never even cheated on me, that the reason I hated you was...pointless," Ichigo said.

Grimmjow averted his gaze and stared down at his bare feet. His jaw still throbbed from Ichigo's punch, but now his chest ached from how small Ichigo had successfully managed to make him feel. He felt so guilty, so bad for making Ichigo experience that kind of pain. Had Grimmjow really just been beating himself up and feeling his own pain a minute before Ichigo's arrival? He was such a jerk.

Ichigo stooped down in front of him, drawing Grimmjow's attention. Those sable-brown eyes had softened immensely as his ex met his incredulous stare. "After that, I could never really get rid of my thoughts about you." Ichigo's hand came up and removed the hand Grimmjow still held to his face, then replaced it with his own, a small smile tilting his full lips. Grimmjow's heart rate skyrocketed. Wasn't Ichigo mad at him? "You stuck around and made me realize something," his ex laughed.

"What was that?" Grimmjow asked, finally finding his voice, however hoarse it sounded.

That smile bloomed and warmed Grimmjow's heart with its intensity. "That apparently no matter what happens, I'll always love you," Ichigo murmured.

"I-I, I..."

" _But_...you better not _ever_ lie to me or push me away like that again, or next time I won't come back."

Grimmjow sat staring at Ichigo, too stunned to speak. What? So that meant that Ichigo was...taking him back? Grimmjow clenched his jaw, ignoring the pain that shot through it as he tried to smother the swell of hope in his chest. What if he was misunderstanding Ichigo's intentions because he just wanted him back so badly? He wouldn't be able to handle the devastation that would follow.

Grimmjow licked his lips nervously. "Are you sayin' yer comin' home? Ta be wit' me again? Like-like before?" he whispered, not meeting Ichigo's intense eyes.

Ichigo's hand on Grimmjow's face lowered to his chin and tilted it upwards, forcing Grimmjow to make eye contact with him. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

Grimmjow closed his eyes and let relief wash over him like warm water. His body trembled as his emotions overcame him, causing tears to slip from under his shut lids. His brows creased as he brought his hand up to cover his face and hide his moment of vulnerability. He didn't want Ichigo seeing him so weak. He sat like that for a second, his breathing coming in short gasps as he tried to compose himself.

"Hey," Ichigo said softly.

Grimmjow shook his head and held up his other hand, careful to keep his face covered and his eyes closed. "I," he started, his voice a deep croak. "Jus' gimme a minute, yeah?"

Ichigo chuckled and it surprised him. His hand lowered and his eyes slowly opened as he met Ichigo's amused stare. "Dummy."

"Eh?"

"I called you a dummy. Dummy."

Ichigo's voice was soft, lacking the heat it had previously held after he'd punched Grimmjow. Grimmjow just stared, his head tilting to the side in confusion. Why the hell was Ichigo calling him a dummy now?

"Why am I a dummy this time?"

Ichigo sighed and nudged Grimmjow's legs apart with his knee before situating himself between them, his lean body close, wet and freezing. He was still shaking, but he looked like he was trying to hide it. As if just realizing it, Grimmjow tried to stand so he could fetch the man a towel and some dry clothes, but Ichigo put a hand on Grimmjow's chest.

"You're a dummy because the way you're acting, it seems like you thought I didn't love you anymore."

Grimmjow's mouth formed a thin line as he stared. That was exactly it. After everything that had happened, he'd started thinking that Ichigo really didn't love him anymore. Sure, Ichigo had told him that when he'd said he wanted to be friends, but still...a man truly in love wouldn't want to be just friends, would he? Grimmjow hadn't thought so.

"See? Dummy," Ichigo said again.

"Well, it ain't like ya went outta yer way ta make me think other wise, ya know."

"I wasn't supposed to. Not after what you'd done."

Grimmjow went silent again. What was he supposed to say to _that_?

"Grimm?" Ichigo asked, his tone uncertain. When Grimmjow arched a brow in question, Ichigo continued. "You still love me, right?"

Frown. "Now who's the dummy?"

Ichigo grinned and slowly put his hands on Grimmjow's shoulders. "Good."

Grimmjow sat utterly still, savoring the feeling of having Ichigo touch him again and not in a platonic manner. His heart thundered in his chest as his mind screamed and cursed at him. _'What the fuck are you doing? Kiss him, stupid!'_ it hollered. So, Grimmjow lifted his hands to Ichigo's waist and pulled him closer, disregarding the soaking wet clothes making a mess on the carpet.

His eyes lowered to Ichigo's lips before going back up to his warm brown eyes. "I missed you," he grumbled, his tone chastising.

Ichigo laughed, the sound making Grimmjow smile as well. "Well, I guess I should apologize for being so callous and making you miss me, of all things."

Smile widening, Grimmjow pressed his forehead against Ichigo's damp one. "Yeah, ya should. I mean, how dare you?"

More laughter. Then Ichigo's face went serious as he closed the space between their lips and kissed him. Ichigo's lips were cold. When he pulled back, he sighed. "I missed you too."

Grimmjow didn't need to hear anymore. He wanted to do something to make up for his past transgressions, as well as warm Ichigo up, so he aggressively connected their lips again, this time securing both arms around Ichigo's waist and hugging the man tight. He would never let him go again. They opened their mouths at the same time and their tongues immediately came out to play. Grimmjow gave a soul-deep groan, his abdomen tightening as Ichigo did the same and slid both hands into Grimmjow's hair.

Everything was in an uproar, an emotional state of emergency. Grimmjow didn't know what to feel first. Relief? Happiness? No. One thing overcame both of those with the strength of an army: love. It was too much for him. He'd begun thinking he would never have his Ichigo back and now...here he was. He felt like his heart was going to explode any second now and when Ichigo pulled out of the kiss to look him in the eye, tears sitting on his lashes, it nearly did.

"I don't wanna break up with you again, Grimm. I don't think I can go through not being with you anymore. I-"

"Stop. I ain' goin' nowhere, Ichi and I won't fuck up like that again. When I thought I'd lost ya fer good, I...I..." He couldn't even finish his sentence. Just thinking about how he'd felt only moments before Ichigo had arrived was enough to depress him. Instead of dwelling on it, he kissed Ichigo again. "I'll make it up ta ya. I swear. I'll make ya tired of hearing me tell ya I love ya."

Ichigo gave him a watery smile before kissing him. "Good."

This time, Grimmjow wouldn't take no for an answer when he stood, helping Ichigo to his feet as well. He led the smaller man into the bathroom and handed him a fresh towel, then went to his room to grab a spare set of clothes. All he could find when he went through his drawers and closet was an old black sweatshirt, a pair of gray sweats and a thick pair of white socks. He took the clothes into the bathroom and paused in the doorway. All he could do was stare.

Ichigo had gotten skinny, but he was still beautiful. Besides, Grimmjow knew that his boyfriend's current state had a lot to do with him. He moved into the small room, watching Ichigo behind the glass shower door. He lowered the lid on the toilet and plopped onto it, putting the clothes he'd found for Ichigo on the top of the tank. As much as he wanted to hop in the shower with Ichigo, he'd wait. He was just glad to have the man back in his life for real. He smiled to himself and ran a hand over his face, giddy. He could claim Ichigo as his boyfriend again.

**XxxxxxX**

Grimmjow stood in front of the stove waiting for the teakettle to shriek so he could fix Ichigo a mug. Ichigo was still in the bathroom doing God knows what. In the meantime, Grimmjow had managed to warm up a pot of soup he'd made the other night, and now waited for the red head to emerge. He had his back turned towards the kitchen doorway as he reached overhead for the box of lemon tea he had stashed in the cabinets somewhere, so when a pair of arms went around his waist, he jumped. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves and turned to face Ichigo, who stood behind him wearing a smug grin.

"Scared ya?"

"No," Grimmjow grunted as he went back to getting the tea. Ichigo chuckled, his deep voice echoing in the kitchen, but before he could speak, Grimmjow cut him off. "What the fuck you were doing out in this weather? I thought you hated thunderstorms?"

Ichigo quieted down and sat at the island, making Grimmjow turn to face him. Ichigo was playing with his fingers and staring down at the island-top nervously. "I do. I just...I had to talk to you."

"You mean, hit me."

"You had that one coming! You should be glad I didn't do it the n-"

"I'm jokin', Ichi," Grimmjow mumbled, turning back to the stove and the whistling teakettle. "I fixed ya some food and I'm makin' some tea fer ya. Ya shoulda waited until the storm passed instead of comin' outside in it. Ya might get sick."

Grimmjow expected to hear Ichigo's voice from the island, but instead Ichigo's voice came from right behind him as the shorter man wrapped his arms around his waist again. "Thank you."

Grimmjow stiffened as he shook his head. "No...thank _you_ , Ichi." He turned to face the orange-haired man again, this time his arms going around him and tightening as Grimmjow held him close, resting his head on top of Ichigo's. "I love you."

Ichigo nodded. "I love you too."


End file.
